firefly - 2008-4-11 20:33:00
Dream about Spring
by Shenyirulan
Spring, it seems an illusion on a winter afternoon?
To await you, is to await my lover
Your fine eyes wink and wink
Tease the ears of peach blossom, and pull the ends of willow branches
The palm with a scent of sunshine, detects my forehead time and again
The sunny sidehill easily gains grace. My temperature reaches 38 ℃.
Ceaselessly using sign language, you must call up the dream in deep winter.
I cannot tell when the butterfly throws its slough
But I surely promise you to walk in company, run out of life
Promise to call you darling three times everyday.
Cooking smoke curls upwards in all villages. Flocks of cattle and sheep
Float on green hills and blue water. We tell the rainbow in Tang Dynasty
The scenery on the way, inch by inch I take away.
Firmly I think, really I dream in the sunshine.
梦春天
文/深意如兰
春天，似乎是冬日午后的一个幻觉？
等你，就是等爱人
你那双细长的眼睛，眨了又眨
撩动着桃花的耳朵，牵扯着柳枝的发梢
那只带着阳光香味的手掌，一次又一次地测试我的额头
向阳的山坡容易获得恩宠。我的体温到达38度
你不停地打着哑语，非要把冬季深处的梦想唤出
我无法说出蝴蝶什么时候蜕壳
但我一定答应你结伴而行，从生活中跑出
答应你每个日子，唤你三声爱人
一个个村庄炊烟袅动。一群群牛羊
浮动于青山绿水之上。我们诉说着唐朝的彩虹
将一路上的风景，一寸一寸地带走
我认定，我果然在阳光底下做梦
firefly - 2008-4-11 21:05:00
1.Dream about Spring
标题有三个版本
dream of spring, dream spring, dream about spring
比较之下，第一个为梦见，第二个缺节奏（？），第三个是关于春天的梦
更有原诗的内涵。
2. 第一句on a winter afternoon
有人用in有人用on，我记得是on
如果都可以，用in更显字形的和谐
3.答应你每个日子，唤你三声爱人
Promise to call you darling three times everyday.
省略了一个you和一个for
不知可以不可以
4. 炊烟袅动
找到了N多版本炊烟的翻译
列出如下
smoke
smoke from kitchen chimneys
Wisps of smoke
the wood smoke
cooking smoke
chimney smoke
Smoke of kitchen fires
A Spiral of Smoke
streak of smoking
cooking smoke
通俗而形美，故选之
好了，说多了
留点给各位看官吧
呵呵
卧龙先生 - 2008-4-11 22:09:00
你都说明了
我就不再说了
呵呵欣赏
firefly - 2008-4-11 23:20:00
原帖由 卧龙先生 于 2008-4-11 22:09:00 发表
你都说明了
我就不再说了
呵呵欣赏
唉 早知如此
我就不要那么辛苦地唠叨半天了
--要知道，我是在抛砖引玉啊
:Q :Q :Q