卧龙先生 - 2008-5-9 12:50:00
严肃的时刻 Serious Moment
唐祁 By Tang Qi
我看见 I see
许多男人 Many men
深夜里低声哭泣 Softly sobbing in the dead of night
许多温驯的 Many meek
女人，突然 Women, suddenly
变成疯狂 Become mad
早晨，阴暗的 Early morning
垃圾堆旁 By the dark rubbish heap
我将饿狗赶开 I drive away a hungry dog
拾起新生的婴儿 And pick up a newborn baby
沉思里 In my meditation
他们向我走来 They are walking toward me
firefly - 2008-5-9 20:40:00
严肃的时刻 Serious Moment
唐祁 By Tang Qi
我看见 I see
许多男人 Many men
深夜里低声哭泣 Softly sobbing in the dead of night
许多温驯的 Many meek
女人，突然 Women, suddenly
变成疯狂 Become mad
早晨，阴暗的 Early morning
垃圾堆旁 By the dark rubbish heap
我将饿狗赶开 I drive away the hungry dog
拾起新生的婴儿 And pick up a newborn baby
沉思里 In my deep though
他们向我走来 They are walking to me
Soft---> Softly
Become mad-->Driven mad 韵
rubbish heap--->midden 韵
the hungry dog---》a hungry dog a baby 就用对了
In my deep though---》In my meditation 韵
walking to me ---》walking toward me
in the dead of night---》in dead of night
最后这个我不敢肯定 只是觉得the有碍节奏
请知情者告知
卧龙先生 - 2008-5-9 20:50:00
真是抱歉 我怎么把你的回帖给改了
对不起了
我修改过来
回复firefly
Soft---> Softly
接受
Become mad-->Driven mad 韵
我在斟酌
rubbish heap--->midden 韵
我在斟酌
the hungry dog---》a hungry dog a baby 就用对了
接受
In my deep though---》In my meditation 韵
接受
walking to me ---》walking toward me
接受
in the dead of night---》in dead of night
最后这个我不敢肯定 只是觉得the有碍节奏
这个用法是一个很好的用法
我在字典中反复比较过
最后选用这个
童天鉴日 - 2008-5-9 20:58:00
In my deep though
----------------------------in my deep thought ? or maybe you could say : in my musing. just my idea. now i have a piece of advice about the translative poem. and i can not read it favoringly because there is not rhyme in this production.
firefly - 2008-5-9 21:11:00
原帖由 童天鉴日 于 2008-5-9 20:58:00 发表
In my deep though
----------------------------in my deep thought ? or maybe you could say : in my musing. just my idea. now i have a piece of advice about the translative poem. and i can not read it......
no rhyme？ what means？ could you upload it here? ty