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新译《Pan with Us 》

新译《Pan with Us 》

潘和我们
    罗伯特•弗罗斯特

有一天,森林之神潘从树林里走来
--他的发肤与眼睛灰暗
有如墙上的苔藓
--站在阳光下,满足地看
茂盛的山谷和山峦
西风中他手握笛管伫站
在光秃秃的牧场高处
俯瞰整个乡间
没有炊烟也不见屋脊
棒极了!他顿足连连

他心谙宁静,因无人来此
除了因草料不足,每年有人
把未驯化的公牛腌制成肉
或有纯朴的孩童提水桶滴答作响
他们察晓许多却不说透

他扔掉笛管,教一首
新世界之歌太难,遥不可及
森林之神的记号--蓝松鸦的尖叫
和阳光以外猛鹰的哀泣     
已算是音乐,对他,对任何人
时代已今非昔比
芦笛早已无力摇撼挂果的松枝
以及脆弱而丛生的矢车菊
它比空气中弥漫的气息还要细

笛管曾作异教之乐   
世界已发现价值的新定则
他躺在炎日炙烤的地上
一枝花拈作碎瓣,脸转过去--
吹一曲?吹一曲?--他该吹哪一曲?


Pan with Us
        Robert Frost

Pan came out of the woods one day,

--His skin and his hair and his eyes were gray,

The gray of the moss of walls were they,

--And stood in the sun and looked his fill

At wooded valley and wooded hill.

He stood in the zephyr, pipes in hand,

On a height of naked pasture land;

In all the country he did command

He saw no smoke and he saw no roof.

That was well! and he stamped a hoof.



His heart knew peace, for none came here

To this lean feeding save once a year

Someone to salt the half-wild steer,

Or homespun children with clicking pails

Who see no little they tell no tales.



He tossed his pipes, too hard to teach

A new-world song, far out of reach,

For a sylvan sign that the blue jay's screech

And the whimper of hawks beside the sun

Were music enough for him, for one.

Times were changed from what they were:

Such pipes kept less of power to stir

The fruited bough of the juniper

And the fragile bluets clustered there

Than the merest aimless breath of air.



They were pipes of pagan mirth,

And the world had found new terms of worth.

He laid him down on the sun-burned earth

And ravelled a flower and looked away--

Play?Play?--What should he play?
最后编辑firefly 最后编辑于 2008-04-04 22:44:03
I know that I know nothing.

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回复:新译《Pan with Us 》

以前翻译过这首诗歌
当时还自我感觉良好
今日再翻出旧作
方悟何谓不堪入目
如今重译
虽有不尽人意之处
但我总算用过心了
I know that I know nothing.

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回复:新译《Pan with Us 》

重译时遇到了一些难题
如今和盘托出
望各路高手指教

1,naked和wooded 矛盾
2,mirth---异教之乐 可否同时解为“乐器”或“欢乐”
3,for none came here
      To this lean feeding save once a year
      Someone to salt the half-wild steer,
      这几段不好翻译 理解不一
4,half-wild 半驯化 or 未驯化?
I know that I know nothing.

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回复:新译《Pan with Us 》

我粗着了一下,人家的韵你都没有嘛.
欲钓那只太阳,却钓了一轮月亮!
http://www.hongxiu.com/my.asp?id=1310875
http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanqirong

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回复:新译《Pan with Us 》

先copy下来学习一下!
欲钓那只太阳,却钓了一轮月亮!
http://www.hongxiu.com/my.asp?id=1310875
http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanqirong

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回复:新译《Pan with Us 》

问好 firefly好亲切的名字
握手
收藏阅读

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回复: 新译《Pan with Us 》



引用:
原帖由 钓月 于 2008-4-1 14:340 发表
我粗着了一下,人家的韵你都没有嘛. 


关于韵
比较难找
目前小弟还押不来
I know that I know nothing.

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回复 7F firefly 的帖子

It is really a hard nut.
欲钓那只太阳,却钓了一轮月亮!
http://www.hongxiu.com/my.asp?id=1310875
http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanqirong

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回复: 新译《Pan with Us 》



引用:
原帖由 钓月 于 2008-4-1 14:340 发表
我粗着了一下,人家的韵你都没有嘛. 

所提是,请楼主再酝酿酝酿

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回复 9F 童天鉴日 的帖子

好的
一会儿再交上来
I know that I know nothing.

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回复:新译《Pan with Us 》

贴上来了
说实话 我一向对押韵
不怎么研究过
如今硬着头皮改了改
还是不太满意
请大伙儿来提携一下
I know that I know nothing.

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回复:新译《Pan with Us 》

这种有尾韵的诗翻出来的韵式应和原诗一样才好。

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