[原创]双语：miss (思念)

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当 又来一首miss

关于思念的翻译
前面的帖子有讨论过的 但苦于当时没有结果
因此 我提议再说说
字典上有几种译法
lovesickness
thought
think of; 
long for;
miss;
yearn for;
pine for

这里要用的是名词形式 我想说两点
lovesickness带有单相思 受尽相思之苦的色彩 不宜用在这里
另外 miss 是动词 它作名词形式时没有思念的意思

恩
这个思念应该在重新想一想怎么翻译

看着大家翻译
本来要停笔半年
估计又要犯规了
我的手又痒了

miss is a deep well
it is sometimes sweet and sometimes bitter
miss is a thick book
it is sometimes to wake up to reality and sometimes in a loss

in a loss
why not use
at a loss




miss is joyful smile on face
is an anxious expression on forehead
miss is tears in  the corner of the eye
is a hope in heart

第二行的is 可以去掉

淡淡的愁容 淡淡没有译出来
参考：slight/light/gentle worried look




miss is torture of suffering
is enjoying of happy
miss is not been seen or tounched
but it is real in the heart of lovers

痛苦的折磨 感觉还有更地道的翻译
我不太有把握 建议单用一下一个就可以了affliction/torture/suffering /torment/
或者 enduring suffering





miss is thousands of love thread
it was not cut but very unrest
it rises after the morning sun
it  falls behind the the setting sun
also fermenting and filling the air
in the heart of lovers forever

threads？
it is unrest before being cut
it ascends with sunrise and descends sunset
dreaming and lingering in my lover's heart

上面的讨论仅供参考
没别的意思 楼主别见怪

這中文詩的語言倒是規範化的。現在來看看英文如何。

MISS在這裡作名詞﹐很容易被理解為“女孩﹐小姐”。在特定句子裡才能被理解為
“思念”﹐如﹕I  WAS  SLEEPLESS  LAST NIGHT  FOR  THE  MISS  OF  YOU。英
文中還真想不起有個單詞﹐能確切地表示“思念”的含義。THINKING  OF  SB﹐有
思念某人之意﹐但單獨用THINKING就未必能作此理解。不過﹐一定要找個詞來代替
MISS﹐只能用THINKING了。其他人有沒有讀到一個能表達“思念”的英文詞﹖

第二句中的IT  IS可以省掉。

如果SOMETIMES像你這樣連用﹐可以說NOW  SWEET﹐ AND  NOW  BITTER。學一下NOW這
個用法。

第四句中“頓悟”和“迷茫”的是讀者﹐不是書。所以得另加主語。而頓悟不是回
到現實中來。是“理解了”的意思。請自己改後再討論。

JOYFUL SMILE前加A﹐FACE前加THE。ANXIOUS是憂慮﹐不是愁。愁用SAD即可。但
“容”指整個臉。所以額頭上有愁容﹐中文就不通。所以這句中文先要改。

不要用TEARS﹐可說A  TEAR。第四句中IS可省。A  WISH  IN  THE  HEART。

TORTURE前加THE。下面IS改成AND。體驗﹕THE  EXPERIENCE  (OF  HAPPINESS)。下
句太複雜﹐可簡化成﹕INVISIBLE  AND  UNTOUCHABLE。好的句子是用最少的詞表達
最多的意思。第四句中IT可以不要﹐後面改成﹕TRULY EXISTS IN THE HEART OF LOVERS。


MYRIAD  THREADS  OF  LOVE。這句外國人很可能不懂。中國人說月老牽紅絲。外國
是愛神射箭。

it was not cut but very unrest句一點沒把意思譯出來。再想想看。

“它隨朝陽升起于夕陽同落”。這句不易譯好。中文裡有思緒起伏。沒見英文中有
類似說法。按你
it rises after the morning sun
it  falls behind the the setting sun說法﹐完全可簡化為IT  RISES  AND  FALLS
WITH  THE  SUN。是你兩句英文的意思。但從英文用詞來看﹐SUN不能FALL﹐是SET。
英文中“思念”也不能說起落。供你考慮修改。

你的“瀰漫”是在心間﹐不是在AIR裡。在翻譯時﹐隨時注意中文意思﹐不能譯著譯
著就跟中文原意脫離了。

感谢大家的分析与指导，我再改改

思念是一口深深的井
时而甘甜时而苦涩
思念是一本厚厚的书
时而顿悟时而迷茫

miss is a deep well
it is sometimes sweet and sometimes bitter
miss is a thick book
it is sometimes to wake up to reality and sometimes at a loss

思念是脸上欣喜的微笑
是额头淡淡的愁容
思念是眼角喜悦的泪水
是心田无声的诉愿

miss is a joyful smile on the  face
an anxious expression on forehead
miss is tears in  the corner of the eye
is a hope in heart

思念是痛苦的折磨
更是幸福的体验
思念是看不到摸不着
它确实实在在存在关爱人的心中

miss is the torture of suffering
is enjoying of happy
miss is not been seen or tounched
but it is real in the heart of lovers


思念是千丝万缕的情线
它剪不断理还乱
它随朝阳升起于夕阳同落
却还在深夜在爱人心间肆意发酵与弥漫

miss is thousands of love threads
it it is unrest before being cut
it rises after the morning sun
it ascends with sunrise and descends sunset
also fermenting and filling the air
in the heart of lovers forever

发酵在英诗中有没有ferment这种表达 那样有美感么 我不知道

为了方便阅览 建议楼主将修改后贴到1楼里
顺便说一句 排版上还有问题
it rises after the morning sun

in the heart of lovers?

in the heart of lover's ?    in the hearts of lovers' ?

in the hearts of lovers
in the heart of my lover
in my lover's heart
in lovers' hearts
楼主想用哪一种？

问好海外老师
关于表达思念 
我在网上看到一首诗歌 用的是missing
你看下 
Missing You
by John Seabrook
My heart aches within from missing you,
My lips long for the feel of kissing you,
Right now all I need is to gently touch your skin,
To look into your eyes and see deep within,
Just one warm embrace,
Just to look upon your face,
Just one little touch,
From the one I love so much,
If I could gaze upon your smile,
For just a little while,
To know that you miss me too,
As I'm thinking of you,
To hear the sound of you breathe,
Knowing you'll never leave,
To see you walk up to me,
Then embrace you tenderly,
To just be with the one who's sent my heart reeling,
And brought about this downpour of emotion and feeling,
I sit here alone in my office tonight,
And pray that somehow this all turns out right,
I've never been one to do more taking than giving,
I'm not well off but I work hard for a living,
I've told you many thoughts that weren't borrowed or bought,
And in lifetime, who would have thought,
That I have found someone who was just meant for me,
I can't explain the magic or why this should be,
But there is one thing that I know for certain,
That this just ain't over till one of us draws the final curtain,
For I've seen an angel and I want you to know,
If it's my choice to make, I'll never let you go,
Don't know what life holds, maybe there's no reason or rhyme,
To think you may be mine in a matter of time,
And though I cannot touch you and we are now apart,
My Love, you do dwell, so deep within my heart.

卧龙说的是 但里面也用了think of 了 呵呵

另外 关于这首诗
who's sent my heart reeling,
many thoughts that weren't borrowed or bought,
学习了！

To hear the sound of you breathe,
you 是不是your?

Don't know what life holds, maybe there's no reason or rhyme,
什么意思？谁翻一下？