。。

自娱自乐

。。

自娱自乐

He stands absent-mindedly / aimlessly / idly on the jade stairs?
A strip / view of green on cold mountains wounds a heart?

海外逸士

為什么用HE﹐而不是 I ﹖最好避免人稱代詞。為什么要有個LONG﹖不需用BEHOLDING。   return home,  return  to their home.  earnestly = 急﹖   

自娱自乐

原帖由 海外逸士 于 2009-3-8 2:36:00 发表
為什么用HE﹐而不是 I ﹖最好避免人稱代詞。為什么要有個LONG﹖不需用BEHOLDING。   return home,  return  to their home.  earnestly = 急﹖   

Thanks for pointing my bad out again. I was in a hurry to do sth else yesterday while attempting to revise this one.
why not "I"? good question! I read someone's versions and found the translators used 'he', so I decided to give it a go and see what opinion you would come up with.
As for 'long', I didn't know...oh, yes, I was going to say he stands there for a long time.   
Okay, I see your point, so in your opinion "I" is better than "he", right? And it is much better to omit it completely, correct?

周道模

怎么接受意见又不改英文呢？

海外逸士

you understand correctly.  I always try to translate as laconic as possible.

自娱自乐

原帖由 周道模 于 2009-3-8 21:23:00 发表
怎么接受意见又不改英文呢？

为什么要改呢？有什么大错吗？:P
我有空时会再修改，然后贴出改过的版本，以此对照。