车邻选译塞克斯顿——诅咒哀歌

车邻

诅咒哀歌
哦，爱，为什么我们争吵？
我反感你所有的虔诚之语。
也讨厌哪些死者。
他们拒绝倾听，
随他们去吧。
你要远离墓地，
他们正安眠。
人人都指责：
那五分之一的残酒，
生锈的铁钉，和粘在
台阶后面的泥土的鸡毛，
和猫耳下的爬虫，
和薄嘴唇的布道者
他拒绝召唤，
除此之外，跳蚤疯狂的某天，
死者拖沓而行，穿过院子
寻找替罪羊，
我藏在厨房的杂物下。
我不愿回忆死者。
死者讨厌所有。
而你，义无反顾，
坚持、坚持回到
墓地，
休息，在那里想着死者的面孔；
并自语你昔时糟糕的梦想。
附：原文
  A Curse Against Elegies
Oh, love, why do we argue like this?
I am tired of all your pious talk.
Also, I am tired of all the dead.
They refuse to listen,
so leave them alone.
Take your foot out of the graveyard,
they are busy being dead.
Everyone was always to blame:
the last empty fifth of booze,
the rusty nails and chicken feathers
that stuck in the mud on the back doorstep,
the worms that lived under the cat's ear
and the thin-lipped preacher
who refused to call
except once on a flea-ridden day
when he came scuffing in through the yard
looking for a scapegoat.
I hid in the kitchen under the ragbag.
I refuse to remember the dead.
And the dead are bored with the whole thing.
But you -- you go ahead,
go on, go on back down
into the graveyard,
lie down where you think their faces are;
talk back to your old bad dreams.

周道模

个别地方有掉词和不够准确到位的现象：
第二句： all 未翻     第一段最后一句的 be busy doing sth.  的味道丢了可惜。
doorstep 翻成“台阶”好些哇？

海外逸士

一般太長的沒時間看。看了第一節。THE  DEAD = 死者。所以下面有THEY。LEAVE  
THEM  ALONE = 隨他們去﹐別理睬他們。本節末句得重譯。

车邻

谢谢周老师的辅导，又稍作修改！

车邻

谢谢海外老师，我觉得还是这种方式表达好一点！汉语所表达的意思能和英语本意相符即可！

青衫来客

A good translation on the whole after revision proposed. However it still leaves a little to be desired.
But you -- you go ahead,
go on, go on back down
into the graveyard,
而你，义无反顾，
坚持、坚持回到
墓地，
go ahead  就是前行的意思，义无反顾是从哪里来的？ go on 似乎不应该翻译成坚持，整段翻译与原作有差别。

.

天路客

问好车邻
这一首本来我前两天也有翻译过的
后来觉得有些地方拿捏不准 就没贴上来
等我九月份考完试再找你好好切磋 嘿嘿