【古诗英译】蘇幕遮（宋）范仲淹

海外逸士

碧雲天，黃葉地。秋色連波，波上寒煙翠。山映斜陽天接水。芳草無情，更在斜陽外。    黯鄉魂，追旅思。夜夜除非，好夢留人睡。明月樓高休獨倚。酒入愁腸，化作相思淚。
Poem in Tune of Sumozhe
by Fan Zhongyan of Song Dynasty
The blue cloudy sky, the yellow-leaf-covered ground.
The color of autumn linked with waves;
Cold mists over the waves look green.
Mountains reflect the slanting sunshine; the water reaches the sky.
The emotionless fragrant grass
Looks as if beyond the slanting sun.
The nostalgic soul depressed; reminiscent of traveling;
Except at each night
When sweet dream invites me to sleep.
Don’t lean alone on the high tower under the bright moon.
Wine into the plaintive bowels
Turns to the tears of lovesickness.

童天鉴日

学习的一首。问好海老！

Louisa

欣赏海老的译作，收益匪浅。
以下是本人的练习，望指正：
Tune:  Screened By Southern Curtain
By Fan ZhongYan
White clouds in azure sky;
Yellow leaves in ground bare.
O’er the autumn-tinted waves
A thin veil of chilly green haze.
Sky melt into water; sun shines on hills;
Stretch far away, so sturdy the ruthless weeds
Beyond sunset’s glows.

A homesick soul in his roam,
Haunted by reminiscent gloom.
Tortured each night
Except dream to release ademosyne blight.
In bower in the moonlight
Should not lean alone on rails
Even wine fed into sad entrails
Turns to be nostalgic tears.
此词逃不脱宋词传统的“丽”和“柔”，但句句现真“情”---思乡之情。

bluesabre

愁腸似乎不宜直译为“plaintive bowels”吧？Louisa的版本“芳草”成杂草了，即使是刻意求新也不必这样吧？个人意见。