【汉诗英译】雪之外——龙泉

周道模

雪之外
                  龙 泉
你一定是雪之外的又一个精灵
灵魂的舞者。天鹅湖的双重情人
孔雀王国的一袭长裙，花雨缤纷
而我只是矮人国里的君王
在中世纪的城堡里自我陶醉
一场久违的雪飞着，舞着
铺天盖地，乱了现有的秩序
是谁在夜里悄悄堆起
两个红黑双眼的雪人
那该是多么童话的爱情

Beyond Snow   
   by Long Quan
You must be another spirit beyond snow
The dancer of soul. The double lover of Swan Lake
A long dress of the Peacock Kingdom, flowery
And I am only the king of Dwarf States
reveling in the castle of Middle Ages
The long absent snow is flying and dancing
overwhelming and disordering the existing order
Who piled up quietly at night
the snowman with two red and black eyes
That should be the love much like fairy tale

              Tr. William Zhou

Loon

雪之外
                  龙 泉
[/quote]

Outside the Snow   
   by Long Quan
You must be another spirit outside the snow
The dancer of soul. The double lover of Swan Lake
A long dress of the Peacock Kingdom, flowery
And I am only the king of Dwarf States
are reveling in the castle of Middle Ages
The long absent snow is flying and dancing
overwhelming and disordering the existing order
Who piled up quietly at night
the snowman with two red and black eyes
That should be the love much like fairy tale
              Tr. William Zhou

Or "Beyond Snow"?
"And I am only the king of Dwarf States
are reveling in the castle of Middle Ages"
"are" 的主语不详。
"两个红黑双眼的雪人"
这句中文我都不很确信 - 是一个雪人有一对红黑的眼睛，还是两个雪人各有一双黑和一双红的眼睛？还是。。。

周道模

Or "Beyond Snow"?
"And I am only the king of Dwarf States
[/quote]
谢谢先生指谬！are 是错了。beyond 更好些。
疑问我也只好问作者了。