［汉译英］张宗昌《泰山咏》

puravidaZS

泰山咏
张宗昌

远看泰山黑糊糊，
上头细来下头粗。
如把泰山倒过来，
下头细来上头粗。

好诗大家译，我先抛两块砖头。

其一：

The distant Taishan,
Shows its dark shadow;
Solid foundation,
Supports the top shallow.

If some day,
Someone turns over the universe;
The old tradition,
Will experience a new birth.

其二：

What a dark regime Taishan it is looking far away,

Minority reigns on majority day and day.

If a revolution turns the system upside down,

We the people will be on top and finally have a say.

木樨黄谷

欣赏创译佳译{:soso_e113:}

几年前曾想搜集中国打油诗集中译介，却被老师打住，说没人读。现在想来也是，我们在文学文论领域上哈西由来已久，还没有人专门译介doggerel名诗人威廉·麦戈纳格尔的打油诗呢，会有多少外国人想读我们的打油诗？这是问题一

问题二，既然是打油诗，汉语的打油俚语熟语粗话是标志，如果要翻译成英语，是不是也得像doggerel那样irregular in rhythm and in rhyme？要再现打油诗之奥妙，非译介语水平达母语者能胜任啊。这一点在日常口语上尤其容易分辨一个人是否到了水平。记得一则穿凿小品，说一汉人自诩英语到母语水平了，于是好事者狠劲往其脚趾头一跺，此人立时大喊“哎呦”而不是ouch之类，可见日常语的深入骨髓之功及基因之质了{:soso_e100:}

木樨黄谷

Doggerel is a technical term for bad poetry. You probably knew someone in high school who wrote doggerel, which is usually characterized by irregular verse and forced rhyme. Overly sentimental tones can also be a trait of doggerel, and so can comical effect. Take the following poem by a hypothetical teenager:

Life is a treacherous abyss,

It will leave you so amiss,

Like a bird trying to find its lover,

Or looking for a bit of cover

From the storm, we keep trying

To figure out our calling

And yet we're left

Cold and bereft.

This bit of verse shows several qualities that we look for in doggerel. It is overly sentimental, depicting life as a 'treacherous abyss' in which all are 'left cold and bereft.' It also exhibits irregular verse and forced rhyme. In formal, metrical poetry, there are a set number of syllables in each line. In the above poem, we see lines varying in length and made to rhyme in a completely artificial way.

It isn't just mopey adolescents who write bad verse. There are plenty of examples of doggerel in the history of published poetry. The following is an example of doggerel by poet Charles Fuller:

It is our poetic verse

That releases the restraints

Opening our minds eye

To flowing sincere thought

Here, Fuller praises the vocation of the poet in an overly dramatic way, reeking of sentimentality. In the following excerpt from Geoffrey Chaucer's 'Tale of Sir Thopas,' the speaker of the poem alters the natural flow of speech for the sole purpose of making the lines rhyme:

Sir Thopas was a doughty swain,

White was his face as paindemain,

His lippes red as rose.

His rode is like scarlet in grain,

And I you tell in good certain

He had a seemly nose.

Over time, poets tried to consciously avoid being seen as writers of doggerel. Modern poets invented a style known as free verse, in which all conventions regarding meter and rhyme were discarded in order to steer clear of seeming 'artificial.'

Modern examples of doggerel still persist, though. Popular music is full of it. Justin Bieber is just one example:

I always knew you were the best

The coolest girl I know

So prettier than all the rest

The star of my show

So many times I wished

You'd be the one for me

But never knew you'd get like this

Girl what you do to me

These lyrics are from Bieber's popular song, 'Favorite Girl.' In it, he waxes poetic about an adolescent fling, throwing out such insistently sentimental lines as 'the coolest girl I know' and 'so prettier than all the rest.' Bieber also uses rhyme just for the sake of rhyming. The whole thing is so transparent as to not escape the label of doggerel.
Intentional Doggerel

Doggerel is not always bad, though. Sometimes it's used intentionally in order to enhance the poetic quality of a song or literary work. As an intentional literary device, doggerel is typically utilized for comical effect. In many cases, such as nursery rhymes, commercial jingles, and popular songs, doggerel is not used in a sappy or overly sentimental way. The poet John Skelton defended its use in this vein:

For though my rhyme be ragged,

Tattered and jagged,

Rudely rain-beaten,

Rusty and moth-eaten,

If ye take well therewith,

It hath in it some pith.

puravidaZS

木樨黄谷 发表于 2015-10-4 08:50
欣赏创译佳译

几年前曾想搜集中国打油诗集中译介，却被老师打住，说没人读。现在想来也是， ...

谢谢关注。我喜欢打油诗，看得懂，读着顺口，有道理，比如这首。现代诗看不懂。有谁说我的诗是打油诗，我觉得是对我最大的夸奖。咱们能不能建一个打油诗栏目？

木樨黄谷

puravidaZS 发表于 2015-10-4 09:59
谢谢关注。我喜欢打油诗，看得懂，读着顺口，有道理，比如这首。现代诗看不懂。有谁说我的诗是打油诗，我 ...

完全可以啊，有这个兴趣最重要，且也算新的视角。不过译介中西打油诗本身是一个叫好不叫座的个人行为，要经得起打击和寂寞{:soso_e129:}

puravidaZS

木樨黄谷 发表于 2015-10-4 15:35
完全可以啊，有这个兴趣最重要，且也算新的视角。不过译介中西打油诗本身是一个叫好不叫座的个人行为，要 ...

不仅是打油诗，翻译任何诗都是一个寂寞的事情。