I came from the sunny valleys
And sought for the open sea,
For I thought in its gray expanses
My peace would come to me.
I came at last to the ocean
And found it wild and black,
And I cried to the windless valleys,
"Be kind and take me back!"
But the thirsty tide ran inland,
And the salt waves drank of me,
And I who was fresh as the rainfall
Am bitter as the sea.
我从晴朗的溪谷流来
一路追寻无边的大海
以为在它宽广的胸怀
我能得到安宁和舒泰
终于让我找到了海洋
却发现海洋黑暗疯狂
我向溪谷哭断了肝肠
“行行好带我回到家乡”
潮汐急切地涌向内河
我被海波无情地吞没
曾经如雨露清新的我
而今象海水一般苦涩
译后记:这首诗当是她爱情幻灭时期的佳作之一。译诗排列方式由孙则鸣提出,整体外形像一条流动的河,首节和次节渐远又回的诗行,末节的包围吞没的排列,完美呼应了诗歌内容,是一个很难重复的经典诗行排列。断行排列本从西诗引入,但只引入了齐头一种,而格律体英语诗歌有多种排列方式,值得新诗借鉴、应用。当然所谓的“自由体新诗”只需齐头排列一种方式就可以了,甚至这个种类的很多所谓“诗歌”,比如“口水诗”,连分行也不需要的,因为它们不配为诗。
When I went to look at what had long been hidden,
A jewel laid longago in a secret place,
I trembled, for I thought to see its dark deepfire—
But only a pinchof dust blew up in my face.
I almost gave my life long ago for a thing
That has gone todust now, stinging my eyes—
It is strange how often a heart must be broken
Before the yearscan make it wise.
很久前我把珍爱的宝石埋藏
后来我重回这个隐秘的地方
颤抖着以为黑暗中会有闪光
却只有一撮灰尘喷溅到脸上
为了得到它当年我拼命挣抢
不料化成灰还将我眼睛刺伤
让人感叹的,心灵要伤透几场
时间才会让心灵的智慧增长
译后记:从此诗可略窥蒂斯黛尔多么擅长以诗的形象思维代替抽象思维。顺便狠狠鄙视现代主义诗歌,犹如魏晋六朝玄言诗,一百多年喧嚣中国诗坛,却统统扫进历史垃圾堆再无后人问津。诗歌这种精巧的文字,不长于表达思想,而长于言情抒志,废情逐志的中国现代主义诗歌是一群看似深刻其实肤浅、通过追新逐异来显示自己的作者(仔细观察就知道生活中有很多这样的人)向同类性质的读者征收智商税。
Full Moon (Santa Barbara)
I listened, there was not a sound to hear
In the great rain of moonlight pouring down,
The eucalyptus trees were carved insilver,
And a light mist of silver lulled the town.
I saw far off the gray Pacific bearing
A broad white disk of flame,
And on the garden-walk a snail besideme
Tracing in crystal the slow way he came.
月光倾泻如大雨倾盆
我倾听着却无声可闻
银辉如轻雾笼着小镇
把桉树塑成雕像尊尊
远处太平洋灰气氤氲
氤氲里生出朗月一轮
花园小径上蜗牛逡巡
留下了一条晶亮爬痕
译后记:小诗用多种手段,极力描写圣芭芭拉小镇的满月之明亮,看似简单,实不简单。首节,月光有色(佛教用语色相之色,非颜色之色),但如水已不足以形容,月光如豪雨下注;再连喻月光有声,诗人欲听雨声而不得;月光有形,如雾,笼着小城;月光有工,能把桉树雕成塑像。次节前两行,让人联想到“海上明月共潮生”和“明月出天山,苍茫云海间”的意境。最后两行,通过蜗牛行迹可见,写月光之明亮。
The faery forest glimmered
Beneath an ivory moon,
The silver grasses shimmered
Against a faery tune.
Beneath the silken silence
The crystal branches slept,
And dreaming through the dew-fall
The cold, white blossoms wept.
象牙色玉盘洒下清辉
仙境的森林闪亮微微
光彩迷离的银白草卉
似是应和着仙乐低回
若有轻纱将静谧裹围
玉树琼枝都已经入睡
冷白的花朵流出泪水
仿佛她梦见露珠滴坠
译后记:这首诗让我想起李贺,特别是最后两行像极了李贺,只不过李贺的仙境奇诡不平,而女诗人的仙境温柔宁静。这首诗翻译须用律式音节诗(特点有三:一是意顿对位对称,二是逗内音步步尾节点字平仄相间,三是追求精致的韵式)、柔和级的声韵,才能在音响上最好地传达月下仙林的安宁。