[原创]《瞬间》赏析

弦意

《瞬间》赏析<br> ----兼谈诗歌意象的创新<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;瞬 &nbsp;间<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;马永波<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;这个瞬间如一粒沙子落入水中<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;消失在其他的沙子中间<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;你先是看到水面和水底的双重波纹<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;然后是树木的倒影渐渐清晰<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;黄昏辽阔起来。在你之前它一直如此<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;天空缓缓旋转，一张幽蓝的唱片<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;时间的唱针划过粗糙的群星<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;你还恐惧什么，你就是沙粒<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;风和星空，你一直是部分<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;也是那永恒存在的整体<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;水声使黄昏的山谷向明月之杯倾斜<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;你可以听见沙子渗出石头的声音<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;人世的灯亮了起来。生命孤零零的<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;我们离开后，黄昏将继续<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;我们从永恒中抽取的这一束湿润的枝叶<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;沉甸甸的，带着树脂的芳香<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;原载《星星》2003年4月号<br> &nbsp; &nbsp;《瞬间》入选中国作家协会《诗刊》选编的《2003中国年度最佳》。这是一首意象突出、富有诗意和哲理的诗歌，随着作者的笔路，阅读的意境舒转起伏，给人美的享受。<br> &nbsp; &nbsp;体现在描述次序上，全诗抓住了一粒沙子落入水中的瞬间，展开对这一瞬间（人生）的描述。首先映入读者眼帘的是局部画面，一粒沙落入水中，荡起波纹后归于平静。接着是更大的意象画面，黄昏的天空即将迎来群星灿烂的夜幕，你这粒沙子只是某一个黄昏下，山谷里石头蹦出的极小一部分，坠落到流水之中。这时候，诗歌也进入写意阶段，从你蹦出来，你就开始了孤零零的生命，一直走到了黄昏。但人类团体这些沙子，在每个个体短暂的生命里散发出各自的芳香，汇聚在一起，成为永恒。诗歌巧妙地以瞬间起笔，以永恒结束；以感叹个体生命的渺小、短暂为题旨，颂扬团体生命的宏大、芳香来深化题旨。篇章流转自然，充满浪漫主义色彩，实现了对传统浪漫主义风格的丰富和发展。<br> &nbsp; &nbsp;这首诗歌成功之处还在于，对传统诗歌意象的创新和发展。用沙子来形容人生，古而有之。作者却能进一步联想：把沙子从石头中蹦出来喻作人之出，沙子沉入水中喻作个体生命休结，昼夜的时间喻作人类整体的文明历史，幽静的山谷喻作人生旅途修炼的最高意境，芳香的树叶喻作个体在生命过程中享受的欢娱，更为巧妙的是，把深邃、群星的天空喻作人类灵魂所构筑的文明遗产。一系列创新的意象，一语双关、夹叙夹议，道理说出来了，也没有因议而减弱意象画面的色彩。不仅归功于文字的把握，还在于作者准确抓住了整体意象和题旨之间的共性，使情景交融，带给读者美的享受、哲理的启示。<br> &nbsp; &nbsp;意象的创新，可以说是当代诗歌发展的推动器之一。1月15日发在中国青年诗歌网诗歌主坛的《在漂浮的路上》，也比较好的体现了这一点。<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;在飘浮的路上<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;东方红雪<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 在飘浮的路上<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 不能说话<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 它如同无形之水中的通道<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 早以变幻的虚构<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 沉没他人<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 在未曾留意的瞬间<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 会有真实的浪头<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 拉上光亮的幕布<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 让繁星照耀的骨骼<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 在苍茫中碎裂<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 让怀想之梦<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 停留在它的婉啭悲凉<p> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 我们以合唱之土的渴望<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 从将死的伊甸之树下开始<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 让语言的铸造如<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 黑发般的烟那样飘散<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 在灵魂隐隐的鸟翅上<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 飞越这沉没的厄运<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 在这无言的前行中<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 不去惊动那个时刻可能的坍塌<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 我们不说话<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 上帝就不会发笑<p> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 我们在沉默中蔚蓝<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 让那奇异而生的鱼有<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 奔跃中的美丽灵动<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 走上岸的光亮之中<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 这柔软的路开始<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 它骨脊的生长<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 只有这将死的感受<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 才能确定正确的方向<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 我们不说话<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 走入通道<br> &nbsp; &nbsp;这首诗歌比较突出地运用好了意象，文字的修饰完全为迎合构造意象所需，应该是对传统诗歌文字美的概念进行了补充注释。前后两首诗歌的起笔也有异曲同工的地方，都在诗歌的开篇点题，点出了意象与喻意之间的对应关系：“这个瞬间如一粒沙子落入水中”、“在飘浮的路上/不能说话”，有助于读者开篇就把握住重点意象的喻意，较好理解全诗。这个方式也代表了一个比较成熟的写作套路。<br> &nbsp; &nbsp;《在飘浮的路上》相对《瞬间》，更好地运用了意象转借技巧，一语双关，夹叙夹议也就自然融入了诗行。有几分神似李金发，较好继承和发展了李的象征主义风格。其诗意低沉，艺术价值要比《瞬间》略微逊色。<br>

晓曲

喜欢这样的简评。

欧阳白

好！

h17001

拜读!

弦意

谢谢晓曲、欧阳兄、h17001鼓励。问好！

丁速

很有见地。

凯华

评的好！

弦意

谢谢丁速、凯华鼓励。问好！

寻梦

很喜欢弦意老师的赏析！对我欣赏诗歌的帮助很大，谢谢！

白沙

这样的赏析对于诗歌作者很有帮助，多贴。好！收集了。