[原创]《冬夜华家岭》赏析

弦意

《冬夜华家岭》赏析<br>----兼谈新颖修辞手法之一（比喻）<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;冬夜华家岭<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 陈 &nbsp;默<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;冬至之夜 &nbsp;华家岭<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;寒冷的海拔 &nbsp;高出我的体温<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;被寂寞重重包围的异地<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;我象失去恋人一样不安<p> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;裹着大衣 &nbsp;我独自在岭上伫立<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;周围是夜色填满的沟壑<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;华家岭比我更冷啊<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;打着寒噤的星光把我刺伤<p> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;朦胧里 &nbsp;一岭弯曲的树躯<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;象华家岭手中的强弓劲弩<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;却打不败今夜进攻的狂风<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;偶尔也会听见一小撮倒下的惨叫<p> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;一辆卡车的前灯 &nbsp;把夜烧出<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;一条公路 &nbsp;将载着黑压压的寒冷<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;偷卸在华家岭上 &nbsp;便发疯地跑掉<p> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;小店里的灯光 &nbsp;在旅人疲惫的<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;脸上 &nbsp;写满冰霜的字迹<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;而我象一锭墨 &nbsp;被风<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;在夜的砚台上狠劲地磨着<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;原载《飞天》2003年第9期<br> &nbsp; &nbsp;读一首好诗，总有很多启示。《冬夜华家岭》入选中国作家协会《诗刊》选编的《2003中国年度最佳诗歌》。这首诗歌很大的一个特点是：修辞语言新颖，文字的张力大，套用诗中之言“一岭弯曲的树躯/象华家岭手中的强弓劲弩”。<br> &nbsp; &nbsp;作者在诗歌的章法上，采用了渲染、写意、点题这样一个步骤。前两节对华家岭冬至之夜的环境描写，重点渲染整体氛围。接下来两节描述了生命在华家岭冬至时候与自然环境的相互状况，属于写意阶段。第五节承接上两节的意，抒发“而我象一锭墨 &nbsp;被风/在夜的砚台上狠劲地磨着”的感叹，点出生命就要经历恒久沧桑、不要屈服的题旨。<br> &nbsp; &nbsp;修辞性的语言充斥全诗，使原本章法构思并不十分出奇的诗文，显示出文字扩张的韧劲。例如：寒冷的海拔 &nbsp;高出我的体温；我象失去恋人一样不安；打着寒噤的星光把我刺伤；一岭弯曲的树躯/象华家岭手中的强弓劲弩；一辆卡车的前灯 &nbsp;把夜烧出/一条公路；而我象一锭墨 &nbsp;被风/在夜的砚台上狠劲地磨着，等等。<br> &nbsp; &nbsp;整体协调、修辞新颖的文字点缀在诗中，读者阅读过程就体会到了很强的文字张力。“冬至之夜 &nbsp;华家岭/寒冷的海拔”，可以理解为：冬至之夜的华家岭，寒冷的海拔；或者理解为：冬至之夜，华家岭寒冷的海拔。这样就构成诗行上下内在的联系，形成了文字粘合的张力。“一岭弯曲的树躯/象华家岭手中的强弓劲弩”，是对一丛树的描写，按照传统的思维，又是生命在华家岭不屈生存的写照。一语双关的文字，将景象与题旨很好地衔接在一起，形成了诗意的张力。接下来两句“却打不败今夜进攻的狂风/偶尔也会听见一小撮倒下的惨叫”，树击退不了狂风的进攻，狂风也有时候会在树的防守面前，盘旋而呜咽。是文字跳跃的张力。这些文字，在作者的统筹运幄之下，修辞语言苍劲悲凉、低沉而不哀殇，较好体现了西北人文与自然环境之间的联系。<br> &nbsp; &nbsp;当代诗歌中运用最多的修辞手法，就是比喻。静庐听雨发在中国诗歌板块的《思索一棵树》，也是以比喻为核心的、多种修辞手法混合使用的例子。<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 思索一棵树<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 静庐听雨<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;一棵被伐倒的大树多么宁静<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;姿态安然 &nbsp;所有的羽毛不再飘荡<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;你不能对它呼喊 &nbsp;更不能长久地凝视<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;它是大地这片桑叶上 &nbsp;一只死去的蚕<p> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;但你呼喊 &nbsp;它的心里会冲出十万只鸟<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;你再喊 &nbsp;它的醒会让你的梦疼痛<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;长久地凝视 &nbsp;就能看见越燃越旺的火<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;或是铺天盖地洪水般涌来的 &nbsp;马群<br> &nbsp; &nbsp;《思索一棵树》将一棵被伐倒的树比喻做一只鸟（姿态安然 &nbsp;所有的羽毛不再飘荡）、一只蚕（它是大地这片桑叶上 &nbsp;一只死去的蚕），拟人为“它的心里会冲出十万只鸟”、“它的醒会让你的梦疼痛”，夸张比喻为“长久地凝视 &nbsp;就能看见越燃越旺的火/或是铺天盖地洪水般涌来的 &nbsp;马群”。<br> &nbsp; &nbsp;看上去并不复杂的两节，一静一动，由“但你呼喊”与它进行交流而衔接，形成鲜活而鲜明的对比、递进的诗意。前一节运用比喻、反语的修辞，注入伏笔，呈现一棵被伐倒的树丰满的形象。第二节写意、点题，综合运用拟人、夸张、比喻等修辞手法，刻划了一棵树不愿意被伐倒、一个人对理想不懈追求的愿望。这首简短的诗歌，写作技法复杂，语言把握能力很强，体现以比喻为主的多种修辞手法混用，赋予诗歌的活力。<br> &nbsp; &nbsp;《冬夜华家岭》、《思索一棵树》是侧重以比喻修辞为特点的当代诗歌。还有一种以意象描述为主要特点的诗歌模式，与此类诗歌有某些相似的特点。意象描写也经常大量使用比喻为主的修辞语言，（个人以为）两者主要区别在于：意象着重对意识里的虚构图像进行演绎，运用修辞的重点在于整体图像属性特点的转借，形成的题旨往往需要依靠阅读后的整体意识感觉去帮助理解，具有朦胧的诗意美。对于中国诗歌，似乎意象派显得更前卫一些。<br> &nbsp; &nbsp;发在05年1月15日中国青年网站诗歌主坛的《绿色爬满额头》，就是一首以思维意象为核心进行演绎的诗歌。<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 绿色爬满额头<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 东方红雪<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 草的锈是绿色的<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 在眉际间悬挂于<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 风中的脱落<p> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 岩石再来凝固于我<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 在如此之久的无动于衷里<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 等待化解<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 走不出岩石的语言<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 在这层层脱落的锈色中<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 间断了血液<p> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 它们脱掉壮硕的形象<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 最后不见踪影<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 草在形容亲情<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 如此容易生锈而<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 不见它的本色<p> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 在久隔后的醒来<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 仍不能避开这重复的厄运<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 雷雨尖锐的粉碎<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 可等而不可求<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 没有久远<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 只是生锈<br> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 让绿色爬满了额头<br> &nbsp; &nbsp;这首诗歌意象较鲜明、饱满，文字含蓄，题旨刻划比较到位，结尾稍显薄弱。<br>

白沙

切入文本很细。好。

欧阳白

好的诗歌总是各个方面结合得很好

蒋书余

细微见真！

弦意

谢谢各位点评、鼓励。

李文

能找好切入点并能谈透彻，不错的赏析。