青衫来客诗《咏梅》英译

铁_冰

一、原诗

咏梅（作者：青衫来客）

不屑东君自为尊，
还怜奇骨与天存。
枝凝紫海青霞影，
蕊化蓝田白玉痕。
瑞雪毗邻恃清醒，
金星偷眼趁黄昏。
风裳借月随箫动，
流韵凭香散入云。
二、作者译文


She disdains the god of spring to gain herself the fame
I admire her amazing bones lasting with time to name
Boughs congeal shade of green clouds over the fairyland
Traces of white jade from Lantian found on petals grand
Seasonal snow is her neighbour for it is fresh and clear
At dusk, only Venus who could steal a glance at the dear
Her dress dances with the notes of flute under the moon
And her floating fragrance's dispersed into clouds in tune
三、铁冰译文
Ode to the Mume Blossom

Scornful of the god of spring, in nobleness of her own,
She’s admired for her heavenly being with lofty bone.
Her sprigs concrete an image of green clouds from spheres divine;
Her flowers feature white jades produced in the Blue Field so fine.
A neighbor of timely snow, coolness and freshness she shows;
E’en the Venus would steal a glance at her in sunset glows.
As dancing vestures, she sways with flute’s tune in moonlit air;
Her wafting fragrance spreads her fluid sweetness into clouds fair.

秦华

学习欣赏了！

铁_冰

呵呵，谢谢总舵主提起。

云天2010

铁兄美译, 相映生辉!  :rose
讨教: is 春神 a god  or goddess?  :-)

铁_冰

既然是东“君”，那就是带把儿的。

云天2010

thanks.  i'm brain dead.  :-)
hi to miss dream.  :-)

云天2010

临屏涂几句, 给梦梦, 一笑:  :P
早春的第一缕风
在万籁俱寂的寒夜飘临
吹放一树玉兰
枝头上每一朵花瓣
在灿灿晴空下
盛开一个温情的梦的故事
The first wisp of vernal breeze
Arrives on a cold night when everything is asleep
And blows a tree of magnolia into blossoms
Each of which blooms a tender story of dream
Under the bright sunny sky
Reverie - Claude Debussy

青衫来客

My hearfelt thanks for your translaiton of my lines and I do like it very much. I would keep your nice version.

特克

谢谢云云~好热乎~好荡乎~好感乎~亲亲~咬咬~收藏：）