【古诗英译】江城子（宋）秦觀

海外逸士

西城楊柳弄春柔。動离憂。淚難收。猶記多情，曾為系歸舟。碧野朱橋當日事， 人不見，水空流。        韶華不為少年留。恨悠悠。幾時休。飛絮落花時候、一登樓。便做春江都是淚， 流不盡，許多愁。
Poem in Tune of Jiangchengzi
by Qin Guan of Song Dynasty
Willows in west city display pliancy in spring,
Which incite my parting sorrow;
I can hardly stop my tears.
Still remember they seemed full of feelings
That the returned ship had been tied up by twigs.
But it happened that day at the red bridge in green fields:
The person wasn’t there and the water flew for nothing.
Time won’t stay for youth;
So the regret lasts forever,
And when can it stop?
At the time when catkins fly off and blossoms fall,
I ascend the tower.
Even if water in spring river were all my tears,
It couldn’t take away with it
So much of my sorrow.

无心剑

欣赏学习海前辈译作。

周道模

古人写诗也有模仿或抄袭的啊。“问君能有几多愁，恰是一江春水向东流”——李煜

周道模

“韶华不为少年留”， 该用“现在完成时”？

海外逸士

I said somewhere that  the general future tense can be used instead of the present tense to express the general idea.

Louisa

欣赏海老的译作。
请原谅我的浅学，我有一个语法要请教：最后第三行的“Even if water in spring river had all been my tears”，过去完成体是不是表示与过去事态相反的主观设想？如果是的话，是否就该"It couldn’t had taken away with it"?    还是用一般的让步条件中的现在事态？
以下是我的翻译练习，请多指正。
秦观  江城子  
西城杨柳弄春柔，动离忧，泪难收。
犹记多情曾为系归舟。
碧野朱桥当日事，人不见，水空流。
韶华不为少年留, 恨悠悠，几时休？
飞絮落花时候一登楼。
便做春江都是泪，流不尽，许多愁。
A Riverside Town
---by Qin Guan
In breeze softly whisk the West Town Willows
Which grow my gentle sorrows.
And I hardly stop tears.
Still remember you tied up my boat under trees.
Green meadow and red bridge witnessed our bliss.
See no your presence again.
Water flows in vain.
Time stays no longer for youth.
Oh, my endless glooms,
When will they start cease?
As the catkins fly off with the falling blooms
I ascend the tower.
Even if I shed my tears as spring river,
It won’t go running out of
My boundless grief.

宛城卧龙

老师好，俺回来了，呵呵 问安

海外逸士

臥龍好。歡迎回娘家。
按語法理論說﹐是應該用were﹐對應couldn't take﹐如果寫成couldn't have taken﹐太纍贅了。但寫的時候﹐就寫成這樣。我再考慮一下。要改只能改前面。不能改後面。謝謝指出。