【新诗英译】多多《少女波尔卡》

管鑫

就是把形名的偏正转译为副形的偏正，把“同样的骄傲”处理成“同样地骄傲”，目的当然是形容词为中心的短语可以直接做伴随状语，使得语法上尽量不啰嗦。evenly在这里等于equally, 有意处理成不同的词。赐教谈不上，就是分享下自己的想法。我读过最好的一本翻译书是上外教社出版的，里面往往给一篇文章或诗文提供七八个译家的不同版本，参读以后才发现其实语言风格语法习惯选词倾向差异之大甚至超越自己的想象，受益很大，而且比较之下大家也常有败笔，感觉翻译就是一种缺憾美的艺术，永远没有完美的翻译。所以特别喜欢与大家探讨，共同进步。

无心剑

少女波尔卡

The Lass Polka

多多

by Duoduo

同样的骄傲，同样的捉弄
这些自由的少女
这些将要长成皇后的少女
会为了爱情，到天涯海角
会跟随坏人，永不变心

with the same pride and tease
these free lasses - future queens
would rather follow their bad guys
to any remote places in the world
for faithful love till the end of time

译于2011年1月4日。

管鑫

感觉这首诗的内在逻辑是“本来能……”“却偏要……”，您的译本略显顺理成章了吧，前半篇应为出身之娇贵，后半篇应为命运之捉弄，。所以我在纠结要不要把我的teasing改成teased。剑君觉得呢？

无心剑

回复 管鑫 的帖子

They are proud (future queens), but they are teased by fate and would rather follow their bad guys.

管鑫

回复 无心剑 的帖子

This is exactly what I mean. Anyway, it's a poem-the less clear, the more enchanting.

无心剑

回复 管鑫 的帖子

Different translators will translate the same poem in different styles. I hope that more versions arise for a poem, then we can appreciate different styles and tastes. In poetry translation, I tend to clearly express my understanding of a poem even it will make my version less enchanting.

管鑫

Not accomplished as I am, I tend to see myself as a balance-seeker when it comes to poetry translation. I understand poetry translation as a pursuit for re-created yet preserved beauty whose perfection is never to be achieved. There might be an even match of words,or an adequate substitute for an expression, but never a complete and perfect equation to a poem written in another language.

That's why we need a forum like this to learn from others through communication.