【转】李清照《声声慢》/ 赖小琪 译

童天鉴日

声声慢
李清照
寻寻觅觅，冷冷清清，凄凄惨惨戚戚。
Still seeking, however desolate my life is
乍暖还寒时候，最难将息。
While the freshly-coming warmth is still blended with the lingering chill, it is the hardest time for me to rest my mind.
三杯两盏淡酒，怎敌他、晚来风急？
Two or three cups of slipslop, can barely drive the iciness of the rushing gale out of my heart.
雁过也，正伤心，却是旧时相识。
A bevy of acquainted passing wild geese, render me a sense of sentiment.
满地黄花堆积。憔悴损，如今有谁堪摘？
Fallen chrysanthemums pile up miserably all over the ground, while those on the branch are withered considerably, waiting for no one to plunk.
守著窗儿， 独自怎生得黑？
Leaning by the window, how long will a solitary person be waiting for the night falling?
梧桐更兼细雨，到黄昏、点点滴滴。
The drizzle is penetrating the plane tress, trickling by drippings in the evenfall.
这次第，怎一个、愁字了得！
At this moment, I am desperately wondering how a “grief” can convey all my soreness

弦意

据说传统的英语诗歌，曾经也十分注重音律。那么，宋词英译，是否也要注重音律？

梧桐雨丝

也许俺起名字时下意识地想到了这首诗？
寻寻觅觅，冷冷清清，凄凄惨惨戚戚。
叠词的运用恐怕难觅高手传神吧？

童天鉴日

原帖由 弦意 于 2009-6-4 21:22:00 发表
据说传统的英语诗歌，曾经也十分注重音律。那么，宋词英译，是否也要注重音律？

问好老师。最好有音律。本文系在拿来主义指导下进行的转帖。译者系深圳大学学生。

海外逸士

毫無詩感。誰能轉貼林語堂的譯本﹖看看大師級的人物是怎麼譯的。

青衫来客

大学生翻译到这个程度也算不错了。英文在诗律上有很多要求，也有很多格体，复杂程度比中国古典诗词亦不遑多让。学生们还是先从中英文诗词的基础学习，搞清什么是抑扬和，什么是扬抑格，什么是音尺，什么是男韵，什么是女韵，什么眼韵，怎么押韵；什么是平仄，什么是律绝，什么是对仗，什么是新韵，什么是旧韵等最基本的东西，然后再进入诗词翻译。坦率地说，在不能用两种文字同时写作的时候，最好不要动笔搞高难度的翻译。

宛城卧龙

找到林语堂先生的译文
贴一下
【林语堂译作】
Slow slow tune (Li Qingzhao )  
So dim, so dark,
So dense, so dull,
So damp, so dank,
So dead!
The weather, now warm, now cold,
Makes it harder than ever to forget!
How can thin wine and bread
Serve as protection
Against the piercing wind of sunset!
Wild geese pass over head
That they are familiar
Lets it more lamentable yet!
The ground is strewn with staid
And withered petals
For whom now should they be vase set?
By the window shut,
Guarding it along,
To see the sky has turned so black!
And on the colanut
To hear the drizzle drown
At dust: Pit-a-pat, pit-a-pat!
Is this a mood and moment
Only to be called “sad”?

宛城卧龙

杨宪益夫妇译本：
　　Seeking, seeking, Chilly and quiet, Desolate, painful and miserable.
　　Even when it's warmer there is still a chill It is most difficult to keep well.
　　Three or two cups of light wine, How can they ward off the strong？
　　Wild geese fly past, while I'm broken-hearted; ButI recoze they are my old friends.
　　Fallen chrysanthemums piled up on the ground,So withered，Who would pluck them up now?
　　Leaning on the window, How can I pass the time till night alone?
　　The drizzle falls on the wutong trees, Raindrops drip down at dusk.
　　At a time like this, What immense sorrow I must bear!

宛城卧龙

许渊冲译本：
　　I look for what I miss; I know not what it is. I feel so sad, so drear, So lonely, without cheer.
　　How hard is it To keep me fit In this lingering cold!
　　By cup on cup Of wine so dry Oh, how could I Endure at dusk the drift Of wind so swift?
　　It breaks my heart, alas, To see the wild geese pass, For they are my acquaintances of old.
　　The ground is covered with yellow flowers, Fadedand fallen in showers.
　　Who will pick them up now?
　　Sitting alone at the window, how Could I but quicken The pace of darkness that won't thicken?
　　On plane's broad leaves a fine rain drizzles As twilight grizzles.
　　Oh, what can I do with a grief Beyond belief!

宛城卧龙

徐中杰译本：
　　I've a sense of something missing I must seek.
　　Everything about me looks dismal and bleak.
　　Nothing that gives me pleasure, I can find.
　　Even the weather has proved most unkind.
　　It is warm, but abruptly it turns cold again.
　　An unbroken rest most difficult to. obtain.
　　Three cups of thin wine would utterly fail.
　　To cope with the rising evening gale.
　　Myself, into woe, a flight of wild geese has thrown.
　　But with them, very familiar I have grown.
　　About the ground, cluysandiernums are bestrewn.
　　Gathering into heaps——bruised——withering soon.
　　With myself in utter misery and gloom,
　　Who cares to save them from their approaching doom?
　　Standing by the window-watching in anguish stark,
　　Could I bear alone the sight until it is dark?
　　Against the tung and plane trees, the wind rises high.
　　The drizzle becomes trickles, as even draws nigh.
　　How, in the word "Miserable", can one find-
　　The total effects of all these on the mind!