本帖最后由 雨荷风 于 2015-10-7 23:19 编辑
三﹑翻譯怎樣做到舉重若輕
看過些武俠小說的人﹐都會讀到這樣的描寫﹕一個內功到了火候的人﹐舉起千斤重鼎像紙紮似的﹐繞場一週﹐面不改色氣不喘。這就叫舉重若輕。能做到這樣﹐必須內功要到一定火候。同樣道理﹐翻譯中要做到舉重若輕﹐兩種語言的內功也要練到一定的火候。所謂舉重若輕﹐就是指一句或一行較難譯的句子或詩行﹐輕鬆自如地譯了過去﹐讀起來毫無牽強疙瘩之感。其實難易對不同的人是不同的。難易按各人的水平而定。僅舉一例說明。有句唐詩曰﹕“江碧鳥愈白”。如果譯成The river is blue, birds are white.錯了。那個“愈”字沒譯出來。這不像“桃花流水鱖魚肥”。這裡面有三層意思。“桃花”﹑“流水”﹑“鱖魚肥”﹐而且三層意思之間沒有內在聯係。只是寫了三個情況。但“江碧鳥愈白”中﹐雖然只有兩層意思﹐而兩層意思之間卻有個內在聯係。試想﹐為什麼“鳥愈白”﹖因為“江碧”之故。所以兩者之間有個襯托關係。在江碧襯托之下﹐鳥顯得愈白了。瞭解了這層關係﹐譯起來就容易著手了。Against the blue river birds look whiter. 這裡的鳥當然指鷗鷺之類的白鳥。這樣一譯﹐整個意思就出來了。以後碰到難句子﹐不要先動手譯﹐而要先分析思考各層次意思之間的關係﹐隨後才能輕鬆地構成英文譯句。再舉一例﹕李清照的聲聲慢
尋尋覓覓，冷冷清清，凄凄慘慘戚戚。乍暖還寒時候，最難將息。三杯兩盞淡酒，怎敵他、晚來風急？雁過也，正傷心，卻是舊時相識。
滿地黃花堆積。憔悴損，如今有誰堪摘？守著窗儿，
獨自怎生得黑？梧桐更兼細雨，到黃昏,
點點滴滴。這次第，怎一個、愁字了得！
這首詞裡並不是句句難譯的。最難譯的是一頭一尾。既要達意﹐又要譯出特色﹐還真不容易。現在先看看幾位名人是怎麼譯的﹐就看一頭一尾吧。先看林語堂前輩的譯文﹕
So dim, so dark,/So dense, so dull,/So damp, so dank,/So dead!/The weather, now warm, now cold,/Makes it harder than ever to forget!/How can thin wine and bread/Serve as protection/Against the piercing wind of sunset!/Wild geese pass over head/That they are familiar/Lets it more lamentable yet!/The ground is strewn with staid/And withered petals/For whom now should they be vase set?/By the window shut,/Guarding it along,/To see the sky has turned so black!/And on the cola nut/To hear the drizzle drown/At dust: Pit-a-pat, pit-a-pat!/Is this a mood and moment/Only to be called “sad”?
林前輩的首句倒也體現了舉重若輕的感覺。他用了七個頭韻字﹐再加so﹐來對應原文的七對重複字。不過他舉的重有點舉錯東西了。譬如說﹐應該舉個五百斤的石鎖﹐但他卻舉了千斤鼎。重是更重了﹐但舉錯了對象﹐不能婚配。原文的首句七個字重複﹐而且重複中還有重複。尋尋覓覓﹐四字同一意思。後面的四字六字也一樣。要把這個特色譯出來﹐就是上品。
再看楊憲益夫婦的譯本﹕
Seeking, seeking, Chilly and quiet, Desolate, painful and miserable.
Even when it's warmer there is still a chill It is most difficult to keep well.
Three or two cups of light wine, How can they ward off the strong？
Wild geese fly past, while I'm broken-hearted; ButI recoze they are my old friends.
Fallen chrysanthemums piled up on the ground, So withered，Who would pluck them up now?
Leaning on the window, How can I pass the time till night alone?
The drizzle falls on the wutong trees, Raindrops drip down at dusk.
At a time like this, What immense sorrow I must bear!
尋尋覓覓﹐用兩個seeking的重複倒很合適。但後面的離題太遠了。“冷清”的意思大家都知道﹐決不是冷的意思。所以譯成chilly很不妥。後面的“悽慘戚戚”都是miserable的意思。如果跟painful沾點邊的話﹐跟desolate有一定距離。再看許淵沖先生的譯本：
I look for what I miss; I know not what it is. I feel so sad, so drear, So lonely, without cheer.
How hard is it To keep me fit In this lingering cold!
By cup on cup Of wine so dry Oh, how could I Endure at dusk the drift Of wind so swift?
It breaks my heart, alas, To see the wild geese pass, For they are my acquaintances of old.
The ground is covered with yellow flowers, Fadedand fallen in showers./Who will pick them up now?
Sitting alone at the window, how Could I but quicken The pace of darkness that won't thicken?
On plane's broad leaves a fine rain drizzles As twilight grizzles.
Oh, what can I do with a grief Beyond belief!
再看徐中杰先生的譯本：
I've a sense of something missing I must seek./Everything about me looks dismal and bleak./
Nothing that gives me pleasure, I can find./Even the weather has proved most unkind./
It is warm, but abruptly it turns cold again./An unbroken rest most difficult to obtain./
Three cups of thin wine would utterly fail./To cope with the rising evening gale./
Myself, into woe, a flight of wild geese has thrown./But with them, very familiar I have grown./
About the ground, cluysandiernums are bestrewn./Gathering into heaps——bruised——withering soon./With myself in utter misery and gloom,/Who cares to save them from their approaching doom?/Standing by the window-watching in anguish stark,/Could I bear alone the sight until it is dark?/Against the tung and plane trees, the wind rises high./The drizzle becomes trickles, as even draws nigh./How, in the word "Miserable", can one find-/The total effects of all these on the mind!
後兩個譯本都沒把原文第一句的特色譯出來。他們用了句子把李清照含蓄意味作了一番解釋﹐如果這解釋真是李清照原意的話。這樣的譯法﹐他們剝奪了讀者自己揣摩詞家字面後內涵的權利。李清照不想說得太明白﹐為了含蓄﹐讓讀者自己想。怎樣這詞才有韻味。且這種譯法﹐用一句句子來譯那麼四個字﹐是太顯得費力了﹐laborious﹐與舉重若輕恰恰相反。
再看最後句。其中關鍵字一個是疑問字“怎”﹐說明她要把這句構成問句。問的什麼呢﹖問的是這個“愁字”。所以不是“愁”本身﹐是“愁”這個字。這是繞著彎兒說事。那麼譯者要隨著詞家的思路去譯。前三譯本沒考慮到這點﹐就愁說愁。原味盡失。最後譯本提到這點﹐但是畫蛇添足﹐又來個自我解釋。筆者把它譯成如下﹕
Seek, seek; lonely, quiet; doleful, rueful, woeful.
When it just turns warm, but still cold, it's hardest to have full rest.
Two or three cups of light wine, how to fend the evening wind so strong?
The wild geese pass—I feel heart-broken—since they are my old acquaintance.
All over the ground the yellow flowers in heaps.
Languished as I am, who will now pick them?
Keeping myself at the window, how can I fare alone till nightfall?
Chinese parasol, plus drizzles on it, dripping and dripping;
At this moment, what can I do with the word "sorrow"?
明顯看到的是筆者以七個英文詞對應七對中文字。尋覓﹐當然用seek最合適。冷清﹐表達一種孤獨的感覺﹐而且週圍寂靜。而最後三對中文字﹐筆者用以-ful結尾的而又與中文同義的三個英文詞。最後句﹐筆者以詞家的字面意思﹐直接問對這個愁字怎麼辦﹖至於詞家的含蓄意思﹐讓讀者去自己體會了。首尾二句讀來無laborious的感覺。
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