原创 The trace of the fall(秋痕)

孙阳

The trace of the fall
Leaves've fallen in a weird fall,clouds've gone with his call,in air.
Thus sorriness stays still and sure,that it has abandon me in a soil.
Yet,my own life woulda been a lapse,which has ran three quarter of all,
O,let me fall,let me fall.
With another forgotten tour,connectting with an end to the beginning wall.
Of my hearts,who don't know at all,of lonelyness takes space through my trip on.
The trace of the fall?
Is the trace of my life own,
Dreariness of wind bise,blows my heart awful cold,in search of warming shining ingle,
This one burning highs,to this times i desires.
Of the moment,should the thoughts be stretched then,abouts silent trip,i seek,no more.
O,let me fall,let me fall.
As one day,to the morning park i walked by,my eyes are fully wet in a brume,though.
But the road extended,then it's spreaded far off there,when beneath the promise i had brought.
All about the white-scarves i could beared,forgotten?O,-no way.
And closed to my memory-box,since the Fantastic melody i hear,to me,with Ding-dong voice fills
My age circle works around and high ,all that becouse of cycle it forwards,but result is turn to none.
With the chillness morning fall,have to warm my frost hands once more,bit by bit,snug and mild or.
The trace of the fall?
Is the trace of my life own.
My hope is flying to be a cloud, wave highly in the welkin allowed,with rhyme,as shower,my eye.
So be pour,be thunder storm,be misty rain,i say the trace of the fall which has gone,but i lie.
And my hour-hand stood still,thus i wondered my journey trip would be shut up by,but I.
O,let me fall,let me fall.
Endless road and it's boundless,leaves in fall and my tears flown down in silence,my ages circles
What if numbers of date and date can be counted,i swear--before all leaves dance to grouds,O,yeah,
ahead of my last rove winter arrives,O,sure,afore the finally quarter of it's growth ring shows,yes.
I would find my root there.it's shining up there,saffron yellow as ten thousand times i thinks of ,i do.
The trace of the fall?
Is the trace of my life own.

孙阳

附上翻译：
秋痕
秋天的枯叶划破，眼前，淡云飘过．
婉转的思念徘徊，无尽的惆怅滞留．
我人生的轨迹已画完四分之三圆，
还有的一小半旅行，衔接了最后的生命又让我回到起点，
内心却不知向何处，孤独的行囊装载不下我旅行的倦意，
透骨的秋风吹得心一阵阵的凉，渴望有跳着火焰的壁炉陪着我，此刻．
此时，我思绪万千，不想再沉默地旅行，新的生活旋律在我眼前升起．
某一天，我起得很早，独步在清晨的公园，雾蔼任意地打湿了我的双眼，
我于是抬头看着远方的路，朦胧中想起曾经答应过邻家妹妹，带给她一条白丝巾，
一晃眼，承诺距今已过二十年，又一阵秋风袭来，习惯的寒颤赶走了仅有的温存，
当我打开记忆的匣子时，回忆像一个个曼妙的音符，动听地在我耳边回荡，过去近在咫尺．
人生的年轮毫不留情地一圈又一圈地刻在我的眼角，轮回的生命，一切都只因有一个周期性．
带有寒意的秋天的早晨，我还要不时地温暖我裸露的双手，不想它像霜冻的草地，失去知觉．
秋天的痕迹，我已经体味了四十余次，每次却比一次更沧桑，更饱满，我的人生-
多希望像这眼前的浮云，飘得如此释然，累了，就化作骤雨，烟雨，雷雨，降临人间-|
滋润了大地，我的心田，充满了年轮的枯涩，又像成熟的柿子透着橘红的芳香．
看着手中的时表，秒针已无奈地停留，我的脚步是否也要在这无止尽的旅途上驻留？
行途漫漫，人生茫茫，走过春，夏，秋的落叶终究挨不到冬天，亦如我的泪水无声划落，
伴随秋风，愈加苦涩，轮回的生命，在第三个阶段嘎然而止，落叶的秋天，我的年轮，
若这次旅行不再无期，我承诺疲惫的身心，在这满树秋叶飘向土地之前，
在我漂泊的最后一个冬天来临时，在这年轮的最后四分之一中，我也会找到我的归宿-
一个闪烁着橘红色灯火的归巢，就像在夜晚，无数次的思念，最后，它还是属于了我．

孙阳

英文版的我写了一个晚上，比较匆忙点，肯定有很多语法错误，希望大家指正，谢谢．

海外逸士

抱歉﹐太長沒時間看。請先寫些短小精悍的。可以仔細評。

童天鉴日

感觉诗句太庞大

孙阳

呵呵,是吗?下次我写些短小精悍的,目前写的诗歌多是散文诗歌,所以比较长了.

青衫来客

孙阳的这首双语诗，总体感觉很好，英汉底蕴都不错。我的建议是要先学习一下英文诗律的基础知识，边学边写，不能有一鸣惊人的想法。

孙阳

是的,有很多东西要学,我还只是刚刚学诗歌不久,有时候有想要创新的想法.谢谢版主点评.

海外逸士

只有熟悉機械的基本原理及基本構造﹐才能發明新機器。來日方長﹐不必心急。

孙阳

我觉得能写好诗还是要积累的,版主说得很对,只有了解了诗歌的基本原理,在驾驭诗歌的韵律和格式上才能达到娴熟的程度,谢谢版主点评.