A short Stay with General Shi's In Erlong Mount.

青衫来客

Unaware of the rise of the bright moon in the lake
when rowing the orchid boat with waves going by
Not counting but working out the figure in a shake
There must be one star which is missing in the sky
??
不觉湖中碧月生，
兰舟画桨逐波行。
未曾细数凭心算，
今夜天空少一星。
My friend is a major general and there is one star on his shoulder mark. As the folklore goes in China, one general represents a star in  heaven.

自娱自乐

好，妙，不过‘画桨’没译出来。
呵呵呵，decorated oars? Really? Woah, that is pretty cool...:Z

自娱自乐

你原来的可是‘轻舟短桨’啊，怎么改了？

青衫来客

Thanks a lot for your words and I know there is something missing. On one hand ,if the deco. oars were added, the line would be much longer than any others. On the other hand, I think the meaning of the line has been expressed adequately.

青衫来客

One of my friends even made some changes on his book published. The poem would not be changed until you are dead. So is translation, I am afraid.

自娱自乐

二
不觉湖中碧月生，
轻舟短浆自由行。
未曾细数凭心算，
今夜天宫少一星。
The moon rises in the lake without our realization,
With short oars we’re paddling a boat so light.
No careful counting but only a rough calculation,
One star must be missing from the sky tonight.

自娱自乐

Wow, so you have published your poems as well like what yishi did?

青衫来客

原帖由 自娱自乐 于 2009-8-25 16:11:00 发表
二
不觉湖中碧月生，
轻舟短浆自由行。
未曾细数凭心算，
今夜天宫少一星。
The moon rises in the lake without our realization,
With short oars we’re paddling a boat so light.
No careful counting but only a rough calculation,

I would keep your translation in my collection as usual. You are a talented guy.

青衫来客

Oh, no. he is an erudite scholar and I am only a  mediocre.

自娱自乐

Well, you are far too modest.