【臨江仙】楊慎

海外逸士

滾滾長江東逝水。浪花淘盡英雄。是非成敗轉頭空。青山依舊在。幾度夕陽紅。
白髮漁樵江渚上。慣看秋月春風。一壺濁酒喜相逢。古今多少事。都付笑談中。

The torrential water in Yangtze River keeps flowing east.
Its billows washed away all the heroes.
Right or wrong, success or failure, all in nothing in the twinkling of an eye.
The green mountains are still there,
But how many red sunsets seen?
Fishermen and Woodmen with hoary hair on the river or the shoals
Are used to seeing the autumn moon and feeling spring winds.
They meet in happiness with a pot of wine.
How many things from the olden time till now
Are all laughed away in chatting. (Are all given to laughing and chatting)

自娱自乐

Nice job!
Is it okay to just say 'The torrential Yangtze River keeps flowing east', and 'Right or wrong, success or failure, all in nothing in a second or a wink of an eye'?

自娱自乐

or make it shorter...
right or not, success or not, all turns nothing in a second.

自娱自乐

Grey-haired fishermen and woodmen on the river or the islets...
Here 'islet' might be fitter, though 'shoal' is right too, I ponder.

青衫来客

Well-done.

海外逸士

Is it okay to just say 'The torrential Yangtze River keeps flowing east'
it's ok.  i put in the word water only because of 水 in the original.
right or not, success or not, all turns nothing in a second.
good.  in the twinkling of an eye is a phrase often used.  it came to my mind first.
islets is ok.  different person likes to use different word.

自娱自乐

原帖由 海外逸士 于 2009-9-15 6:03:00 发表
Is it okay to just say 'The torrential Yangtze River keeps flowing east'
it's ok. i put in the word water only because of 水 in the original.
right or not, success or not, all turns nothing in a ......

呵呵呵，我亲爱的逸士，你是不是有点儿走火入魔了? 呵呵呵

海外逸士

maybe, in your opinion.

自娱自乐

原帖由 海外逸士 于 2009-9-16 6:55:00 发表
maybe, in your opinion.

逸士，我没有任何恶意。

自娱自乐

在赏读你的佳品中我常常得到许多启发和灵感，在此我要好好地谢谢你。