齐寒双语诗 -=城市童话(1-2)=-

齐寒

城市童话
Urban Fairy Tale
[这个时代还有诗人]
人们从墙里伸出张开双臂的花朵
温柔地期待有人看她一眼，而不是丢下硬币
写诗的家伙们在汽车的后面
模仿斑马跑过斑马线
[We met poets in our age]
From walls stretch out arms of a flower, a gentle look
The tender petal’s expecting, a hard coin people drop her by passing
After a rush of vehicles appears a zebra crossing
Where some eccentric poets’ zebrine walk marks one for the book
[窗口的植物]
早晨起来我会对着窗子发呆
在楼房3/4的高度偷看阳光
有时候植物会不顾你的恼火
贸然地爬出铁栏试图盖住天空
[Plants by the window]
I fall into a trance as I get up, peering through the window curtain
Caught in a threequarter height of a highrise at the morning glare
Sometimes plants turn deaf to your warnings out blare
Clawing up the wire mesh hastily to claim the sky uncertain

红色翡翠

个人感觉第一首中文强
第二首英文强
第一首英文没出意境
拙见:D  问好   你真勤勉啊 齐寒

周道模

翡翠评论比较中肯。

齐寒

原帖由 红色翡翠 于 2009-10-30 15:18:00 发表
个人感觉第一首中文强
第二首英文强
第一首英文没出意境
拙见:D  问好   你真勤勉啊 齐寒

呵呵，我是捉襟见肘啊
其实有时分开好，过于诠释，诗不为诗了:)

青衫来客

Well done. I like the first as well as the second and the Chinese version as well the English one。爬出铁栏， climb up wire mesh？

童天鉴日

问好朋友！