七绝两首 重阳节赠晚春兄

青衫来客

其一
天逢双九恁思君，
已是青天月半轮。
不晓沂蒙山顶上，
今宵可有摘星人。
My heartbeat for you on day of the Double Ninth Festival
Till the half moon in center of the azure sky shines bright
I wonder if the top of the Mount Yimeng sees your arrival
Who' s a  mastermind and able to reach for stars tonight

其二
寄语飞鸿又恐迟，
键盘忙敲告君知。
寻来亭菊和秋月，
传去真情与壮思。

Fear it would be late if asking wild geese to pass you my mind
So keys on the pad're tapped to get you informed by deft hand
I have  found for you the chrysanthemum flowers and the moon
Representing my genuine affection along with my heroic mood

金沙文字

青衫刀客！天下第一刀！

青衫来客

The beancurd is on sales, especially for Kaqiusha's friend whose name is Jinsha.

金沙文字

之日 不晓 与，为口语，入诗亦可，似可另择词语。愚见。

金沙文字

:D....................................................

青衫来客

They were done improvised.

金沙文字

okok.......................

自娱自乐

原帖由 青衫来客 于 2009-11-2 8:23:00 发表
其一
重阳之日恁思君，
已是青天月半轮。
不晓沂蒙山顶上，
今宵可有摘星人。
My heartbeat for you on day of the Double Ninth Festival
Till the half moon in center of the azure sky shines bright
I wonder if the top of the Yimeng Mount sees your arrival
Who has a mastermind able of reaching for stars tonight

Good job!

On the day of ...?

Mount Yimeng?

capable of ...? (able to)

自娱自乐

原帖由 青衫来客 于 2009-11-2 8:23:00 发表
其二
寄语飞鸿又恐迟，
键盘忙敲告君知。
寻来亭菊和秋月，
传去真情与壮思。

Fear it would be late if asking wild geese to pass you my mind
So keys on the pad're tapped to get you informed by deft hand
I have  found for you the chrysanthemum flowers and the moon
Representing my genuine affection along with my heroic mood

keyboard, so keys on board?

mind --- hand ? because they all end with 'nd'? Please reconsider it, for I am sure you can do it.

find sth for sb  or for sb I find sth or I find sb sth, yours seems a bit odd.
moon ---mood? alliteration or beginning rhyming
So, that is great, two lines 'end rhyming' and the other two 'beginning rhyming'
hehehe, you are absolutely innovative as well as creative, hehehe

自娱自乐

oh, I see, ok, keypad...ok, ok...