【自创英文小诗】The Dream

嘉木子

By Garmo
In this winter
The beautiful vision had fallen
Into the colourful dead leaves
With the first snow
Standing on the snowfield
I lost all my shadows
And now to find a mulled wine
To extinguish all my nightmares
The white shadow looks like the death
Being from far and near
To gather on my body
Then becomes a black round dot
It seemed that the dream
Fell on the earth form the old high poplar
Trembly splashing some snowflakes
Then being covered
By others

童天鉴日

嘉木要振作起来

嘉木子

知我者童天也！保重！天又寒了！

海外逸士

vision  can't  fall.
should  be  "all my ...", not  "my  all..."

无心剑

It seem that the dream   (seems or seemed)

周道模

You can pass the sad dream if you do your best!