【汉英双语】《烈火与利剑》诗/无心剑

无心剑

烈火与利剑
Fire and Sword
纵然不能成为一团烈火
驱逐黑暗，带来光明
也要尽力成为一柄利剑
在黑暗中，不停挥舞
留下一丝丝光亮的希望
even if I could not be a blazing fire
driving dark away to bring light
I still try my best to be a sharp sword
wielding ceaselessly in the dark
to leave the world a little bright hope

译于2008年4月22日。
【自娱自乐译本】
If I couldn't be a blazing fire ,
To drive dark away to bring light,
I shall try my best to be a sharp sword -
To wield ceaslessly towards the night,
So as to give the world some bright hope.
【普敬译本】
Though I am not a blazing fire
To drive dark away and bring light,
I shall try to be a sword so sharp  -
Wielding endlessly towards the Night,
To leave the world a little bright flare.

无心剑

谢谢普敬兄，采纳你的意见作了修改。

周道模

多少人大学毕业进入社会后，被社会中的消极因素所同化？
祝无心剑划出闪电的光！

自娱自乐

at night or in the dark
the latter seems better to fit the Chinese version, though.

自娱自乐

If I couldn't be a blazing fire ,
To drive dark away to bring light,
I shall try my best to be a sharp sword -
To wield ceaslessly towards the night,
So as to give the world some bright hope.

无心剑

欣赏自娱兄译本。

自娱自乐

yours is already too good for me to have any variation.

无心剑

自娱兄，用"give"比"leave"显得更积极一点。

无心剑

参考普敬兄和自娱兄的意见，对拙译作了一点小小修改。

自娱自乐

原帖由 普敬天下人 于 2009-12-19 10:02:00 发表
Alas，I am not a blazing fire ,
To drive dark away and bring light,
I shall try to be a sword so sharp  -
Wielding endlessly towards the Night,
To leave the world a little bright flare.

普敬君，进步神速，令人赞叹。
alas 用在这儿，说句不客气的话，是一败笔，与整个诗意诗情不合。