【古诗英译】《夜宿山寺》唐·李白

无心剑

夜宿山寺
A Night in a Hill Temple
李白
by Li Bai
危楼高百尺，
手可摘星辰。
不敢高声语，
恐惊天上人。
The tower is so high into the cloud
That I could pick the stars by hand.
Alas! I really dare not speak aloud
To scare gods in the heavenly land.
译于2009年9月6日。
On this tower so high,
I feel the stars so nigh!
How dare I speak loud
To sturt gods on cloud!
参考铁冰译文，译于2010年1月6日。

【铁译及减肥系列】
去赘肉版 每行8音节译本：
A Night in a Temple on hill
On this tower infinitely high
I can pick the stars from the sky.
O, I even dare not speak loud
Lest I'd disturb the gods on cloud.

抽脂肪版 每行7音节译本：
A Night in a Hill Temple
On this tower immensely high
I can pick the stars from sky.
Oh, I dare not speak aloud
To disturb gods above cloud.

放血版 每行6音节译本：
A Night in Hill Temple
On this tower greatly high
I can pick stars from sky.
But I daren't speak loud
To disturb gods on cloud.
剔骨版 每行5音节译本：
A Hill Temple Night
On this tower so high
I reach stars on sky.
I daren't speak loud
To scare gods on cloud.

【普敬译本】

Standing on a tower so high,
I can touch stars in the sky.
I dare not give a speech aloud,
To scare the gods on the clouds.

周道模

诗还是有骨有肉有血更有魂才好啊！学习。

自娱自乐

原帖由 无心剑 于 2010-1-5 23:54:00 发表
剔骨版 每行5音节译本：
A Hill Temple Night
On this tower so high
I reach stars on sky.
I daren't speak loud
To scare gods on cloud.

Should it be "IN' sky, my dear iceiron? :P :Q :L :-S :? :x :smoke :T

自娱自乐

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky!

无心剑

这首儿歌很好听呢！

铁_冰

in，on均可。

自娱自乐

我的意思是这里用"in' 比‘on' 好，为什么，避免和下面的 'on cloud' 重复。:smoke:(:L:|:g:o:+:0:~:-|:@:):D

自娱自乐

A Hill Temple Night
On this tower so high
I reach stars on sky.
I daren't speak loud
To scare gods on cloud.
呵呵呵，铁皇上‘滥用’‘on', 呵呵呵:d:-D:P:*:T:!:|-):8

铁_冰

u r right.

无心剑

第一行的"standing" 的逻辑主语是第二行的"my hands"，讲不通，可将第一行改作"I stand on a tower so high;"，或者将第二行改作"I can touch stars in the sky."