本帖最后由 雨荷风 于 2015-10-8 04:56 编辑
剑
Sword
幽谷十春秋，
清泉映古松。
何当剑出鞘，
寒锋横长空。
Ten years in serene dales have rolled by,
A clear stream mirrors the ancient pine.
When shall I wield sword across the sky
To let its sharp blade radiate cold shine?
译于2009年11月22日。
In the serene valley I've passed ten years,
Old pines are mirrored in a clear stream.
When can I draw my sword without fears?
Across the vast sky it radiates cold beam.
译于2009年2月16日。
===========================
铁按：剑兄这首自勉诗至少有二三十个译文，他本人就翻译过很多次。我两年前也鼓捣过三个译文，现在回头检视之，可以看见自己的译笔从花哨走向质朴、从稚嫩走向成熟的历程。
一、剑兄原作
剑
幽谷十春秋，
清泉映古松。
何当剑出鞘，
寒锋横长空。
二、铁冰旧译（2008年夏）
（1）
In valley deep ten years have passed away,
Where the clear fountain mirrors the pines old.
O, when my sword should I display
To the vast sky with its blade cold?
（2）
Ten Springs and ten falls have rolled by.
The clear spring caresses the ancient pine's shade.
When can I rip the sky,
Dragging out my sword with cold blade?
（3）
Clear ripples plays with the ancient pine's shade,
Seeing ten springs and falls in glen roll by.
When shall I pull out my sword with cold blade
As the lightning to blaze and rip the sky?
三、铁冰新译（2010-4-1）
Sword
The deep dale has seen ten years pass;
The clear spring mirrors pine trees old.
When can I wield my sword, alas,
To rip the sky with its blade cold?
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发表于 2010-9-6 10:05:39