【古诗英译】送友人（李白）

bluesabre

送友人    李白
Farewell to a Friend    Li Bai
青山横北郭，白水绕东城。
With verdant mountain against the northern city wall aright,
In the west, the city is girdled by river white.
此地一为别，孤蓬万里征。
After this time we part here,
You alone go, from me no longer near.
浮云游子意，落日故人情。
You wander like a sailing cloud,
And the sunset evokes my sadness as if to cry loud.
挥手自兹去，萧萧班马鸣。
As you wave a hand and vanishes your face,
My heart is broken for still hearing your horse’s sad voice!

童天鉴日

楼主用了一番心思了，童天反应慢，细细学习ing...

Louisa

翻得很用心。再简洁些更好。有个别词作一下修改，仅作参考：
青山横北郭，白水绕东城。
With verdant mountain against the northern city wall aright,
In the west, the city is girdled by river white.
此地一为别，孤蓬万里征。
After this time we part here,  （this time 省去）
You alone go, from me no longer near. （you go alone)
浮云游子意，落日故人情。
You wander like a sailing cloud,  (sailing 快， 漂游 用floating  or drifting)
And the sunset evokes my sadness as if to cry loud. ( cry loud 原诗没有分别时大哭之意）
挥手自兹去，萧萧班马鸣。
As you wave a hand and vanishes your face,
My heart is broken for still hearing your horse’s sad voice!
以下是本人的练习，请指正：
送友人  
李白
青山横北郭，白水绕东城。
此地一为别，孤蓬万里征。
浮云游子意，落日故人情。
挥手自兹去，萧萧班马鸣。
Farewell to a Friend
---- by Li Bai
Green hills to the North Wall；
Clear rills round the East Town.
Here is a farewell；
There a thousand miles of voyage alone.
The clouds float free like my wandering friend;
The Sunset sinks down like my old acquaintance.
Wave a hand at a distance,
And our horses neigh in wind.
（Tr. Louisa)

bluesabre

如果说sink，就应该是sun。Sunset sink好像逻辑上有点说不通。至于cry loud ，原文没有。是 我添加了。而acquaintance在英文中表示“相识”，“点头之交”才是这个词的最佳诠释。而中文的“故人”含义要丰富得多，暗示的交情更深。在古代一般人是不会随便称别人“故人”的，而acquaintance见过几面就可以这么叫。我这个版本也是客户有内容涉及到，顺便翻译的。呵呵。个人意见，欢迎继续讨论！

无心剑

送友人
Farewell to My Friend
李白
by Li Bai
青山横北郭，白水绕东城。
此地一为别，孤蓬万里征。
浮云游子意，落日故人情。
挥手自兹去，萧萧班马鸣。
The green hills lie across north of the city,
The white river flows around east of the city.
Just at this place, good-bye to you I'll say,
Like a lonely fleabane you'll go far away.
You'll be wandering like the cloud drifting,
I'm so reluctant to part like the sun setting.
Waving my hand, I see you're going slow,
The horse's also neighing for our sorrow.
译于2007年2月8日。

bluesabre

中国人说告别译为goodbye感觉有点浅了。我觉得“挥手”的李白的友人，无心剑认为是“诗人”自己了。嘻嘻。

海外逸士

Can the verb vanish be used as transitive verb?  consult the dictionery.

bluesabre

这儿的vanishes your face其实应该写成your face vanishes，因押韵才倒装的。

自娱自乐

欣赏和学习各位佳译！我借用露易沙的版本 （在此向您表示感谢和道歉，因为没事先征求您的同意）"改头换面"，"移花接木"，"乔装打扮"，"借花献佛"，与各位同乐！呵呵呵
Here comes my shoddy one for fun only...
To see a friend off
by Li Bai
Across the north of the town lie blue hills,
Around the eastern side run the clear rills.
O, my dear friend, let's say 'fare thee well' here,
Away thy trip could be lonely and drear.
Though thou art like clouds roving with air-flow,
Memories like sunset refuse to go.
We wave each other to bid our good-bye,
Yet the parting horses’ neighs never die.

自娱自乐

中国人说告别译为goodbye感觉有点浅了。我觉得“挥手”的李白的友人，无心剑认为是“诗人”自己了。嘻嘻。 ...[/quote]
李白的诗文相对都比较直白，所以用 goodbye 鄙人认为没有什么不妥。
故人挥手告别，难道李白就站在那儿没有反应，不可能吧？呵呵呵
剑君所表达的 has just captured the instant when Libai is waving his hand ....is it possible or not? hehehe