【双语诗歌】Clumsy Lines for V-Day 胡言乱语情人节

Rhapsodia

Clumsy Lines for V-Day
by Rhapsodia
If my lines are dull and out of rhythms,
And words are insipid and out of shape;
For a special occasion like this,
Forgive me and allow a shy escape.
All plots shot in one take now to retrace,
Twilight of the fall barely saw
Your figure and familiar face,
In a touchable space the seasons draw.
Sparrows uttered some sweet back home mutters,
And pigeons cuckooed some fine supper coos.
“It’s late in fall, my darling gigglers,
Winter won’t bring you food or brews.”
A lasting moment long exiled?
Has it been a long while?
Recounting the cliché I’m like a child
Before it’s hid at the end of time aisle.
胡言乱语情人节    文/晚枫
若我的诗行苍白无力，失去节奏
若我的文字索然无味，已经丑陋
为了今天这个特别时刻
请宽恕我，容我一次羞愧的逃走
追朔一次录就的那些镜头
秋天迷蒙的暮色遮掩了
你的脸庞、熟悉的轮廓
在时光描画的空间触手可收
鸟儿喳喳着回家甜蜜的低语
鸽子咕哝着晚餐佳肴的啾啁  
“宝贝们啊，已是晚秋时许
冬天不会给你美酒佳酿伺候”

那是被放逐很久的永恒瞬间？
莫非是久远的从前？
像个孩子我点数着这些陈腐
趁它们尚未藏到时光走廊的尽头

(Drafted Feb 10, 2011, Feb 12 revised)

自娱自乐

Recounting the cliché I’m like a child
Before its’ hid at far end of time aisle.
Well done, once again it's superb!
But wonder if the last line needs a definite article 'the' before 'far end...'
Just a question for the purpose of learning...
Cheers

童天鉴日

鸡蛋里挑骨头：羞愧地逃走

童天鉴日

Rhapsodia  这个还真得商量呢。一次后面不能是动作吧？一次逃走，这个逃走是名词，对不？名词的话得用“的”吧？  

果然是了，嘿嘿，我搞错了

木樨黄谷

童天犯错了，罚酒三杯

童天鉴日

童天犯错了，罚酒三杯[/quote]
好啊，一杯遗欧，一杯赠美，一杯还东国

Loon

Clumsy Lines for V-Day
by Rhapsodia
[/quote]

Before its’ hid at the end of time aisle.

its' hid or it's hid?

木樨黄谷

又来一个挑骨头的O(∩_∩)O哈哈~