【原创英诗】A day

peter7805 · 发表于 2011-4-13 13:08:41

本帖最后由雨荷风于 2015-10-7 21:51 编辑

A day

I sit in a chair in a room alone
Looking out of the window
And writing a poem as well
The clouds leave half the shadow
And the light spreads its smile
The air is there
Clings to the white walls
Some books, cups and a photograph
stand on the board
A few sounds in and out
And I am a little proud
Such a peaceful day
Seems a thing I long for
And now I have them all

无心剑 · 发表于 2011-4-13 14:41:11

本帖最后由雨荷风于 2015-10-7 21:51 编辑

hehe, you have a nice day!

海外逸士 · 发表于 2011-4-13 22:06:26

本帖最后由雨荷风于 2015-10-7 21:51 编辑

節奏感不強﹐沒有詩意。不要用寫中文新詩的思路寫英文詩。請多讀18﹑19世紀英文
原創名詩﹐以獲得英文詩的詩感。

Rhapsodia · 发表于 2011-4-14 13:25:10

本帖最后由雨荷风于 2015-10-7 21:52 编辑

The air is there
Clings to the white walls
-------------------
The air is there
Clinging to the white walls ？

李洪顺 · 发表于 2011-4-23 16:08:13

本帖最后由雨荷风于 2015-10-7 21:52 编辑

学习

账号		自动登录	找回密码
密码			立即注册