【译诗点评】評孟浩然《宿建德江》15種英譯

海外逸士

移舟泊煙渚，日暮客愁新。 野曠天低樹，江清月近人。
（這次翻譯以外國人的居多﹐所以在理解上一定會有問題。即使有中國人把詩意解
釋給他們聽﹐一般中國人能用英語確切地解釋詩詞的水平也是令人置疑的。）

Night on the Great River 是建德江。“宿”字漏譯
Steering my little boat towards a misty islet, “泊”字漏譯
I watch the sun descend while my sorrows grow: 原文沒有“我看”之意。“新”
字漏譯。
In the vast night the sky hangs lower than the treetops, 理解錯誤。低於樹﹐
天在哪裡了﹖NIGHT 多餘。
But in the blue lake the moon is coming close. “人”字漏譯。
（tr. by Carlos Williams） 丁等
Night on the Great River 是建德江。“宿”字漏譯
We anchor the boat alongside a hazy island. “移”字漏譯
As the sun sets I am overwhelmed with nostalgia. “客愁”未必是“鄉愁”。
The plain stretches away without limit.
The sky is just above the tree tops. 應該是一行
The river flows quietly by.
The moon comes down amongst men. 是“近人”
（tr. by Kenneth Rexroth） 丙等
Mooring on Chien-te River 停泊不等於宿
The boat rocks at anchor by the misty island 原文沒搖動之意。“移”字漏譯
Sunset, my loneliness comes again. 錯譯
In these vast wilds the sky arches down to the trees. 於原文表達有出入﹐
但還可以
In the clear river water, the moon draws near. “人”字漏譯
（tr. by Gary Snyder） 丁等
Passing the Night on a River in Jiande 不簡潔
I guide my boat to mooring by a misty islet, 要麼TO THE MOORING﹐作名詞﹐
要麼去掉-ING。
With the setting sun, a traveller's sorrows revive. “新”字漏譯
Wilds so vast, the sky stoops to the trees;於原文表達有出入﹐但還可以
The river so clear, moon close to man.
（tr. by Paul Kroll ）丙等
未找到譯題
I steer my boat to anchor by the mist-clad river﹐
And mourn the dying day that brings me nearer to my fate. 錯譯
Across the woodland wild I see the sky lean on the trees ,前半譯錯﹐後半
於原文表達有出入﹐但還可以。
While close to hand the mirror moon floats on the shining streams. 不簡潔。
意思略有出入。
(tr. by Herbert A. Giles) (1898)丙等
未找到譯題
Our boat by the mist-covered islet we tied. “移”字漏譯
The sorrows of absence the sunset brings back. 錯譯
Low breasting the foliage the sky loomed black. 與原文有出入
The river is bright with the moon at our side. 有出入
(tr. by W. J . B. Fletcher) (1919)丁等
未找到譯題
While my little boat moves on its mooring mist , 有出入
And daylight wanes , old memories begin. . . 記憶不是愁。客﹑新﹐漏譯。
How wide the world was , how close the trees to heaven ! 是“野”﹐不是世
界。
And how clear in the water the nearness of the moon ! ﹕“人”字漏譯
(tr. by Witter Bynner) (1920)丙等
未找到譯題
At dusk I moored my boat on the banks of the river ; 大有出入
With the oncoming of night my friend is depressed ; 錯譯
Heaven itself seems to cover over the gloomy trees of the widefields. 錯
譯
Only the moon , shining on the river , is near man.
(tr. by Arthur Christy) (1929)丁等
未找到譯題
I move my boat and anchor in the mists off an islet ;
With the setting sun the traveler's heart grows melancholy once more. 太
不簡潔
On every side is a desolate expanse of water ;
Somewhere the sky comes down to the trees 有出入
And the clear water reflects a neighboring moon. 有出入
(tr. by Soame Jenyns) (1944)丙等
未找到譯題
Moving boat , mooring , smoke-shore. 三者間的聯繫未表達
Sun darkening : new sadness of traveler. 簡潔
Wilderness , sky lowering trees. 錯譯
Limpid river : moon nearing man. 有出入
(translator unknown)(1975 ?)丙等
未找到譯題
Boat moves to moor mid shore-smoke. 有出入
Sun sinks. Traveler feels fresh sadness. 簡潔。
Wilderness
　　　　　Sky
　　　　　　　Low trees 表達不清
　　　　　　　　　　　　Limpid river
Moon nears man. 表達不清
(translator unknown)(1975 ?)丙+
未找到譯題
A boat slows , moors by beach-run in smoke. 有出入
Sun fades : a traveler's sorrow freshens.
Open wilderness.
Wide sky.
A stretch of low trees. 表達不清
Limpid river.
Clear moon close to man. 表達不清
(translator unknown)(1975 ?)丙+
A Night Mooring on Jiande River “宿”字漏譯
My boat is moved to moor by misty islet sands; SANDS多餘
There comes again at dusk my gloom in foreign lands. 原文沒異鄉的說法
The sky drops down below treetops in wild expanse; 錯譯
On lucid stream the shadow of moon kisses man's. 有出入
(tr. by 王大濂)丙等
A NIGHT-MOORING ON THE JIANDE RIVER“宿”字漏譯﹐因為宿指人﹐泊指舟
While my little boat moves on its mooring of mist，大有出入
And daylight wanes， old memories begin……後半譯錯
How wide the world was， how close the trees to heaven，“野”不是世界
And how clear in the water the nearness of the moon！有出入
(translator unknown)丙等
Mooring on the River at Jian De “宿”字漏譯
My boat is moored near an isle in mist gray, “移”字漏譯
I'm grieved anew to see the parting day. 後半多餘。“日暮”漏譯。
On boundless plain trees seem to touch the sky;
In water clear the moon appears so nigh. “人”字漏譯
(tr. by 許淵沖)丙等
本人譯文“
Lodge on Jiande River
Moving the boat to moor at the misty shoal,
As sun's setting, the tourist has new sorrows.
With fields so vast, the sky seems as low as trees;
With river so clear, the moon looks to me so close.

宛城卧龙

问候老师 我看不少题目翻译的译文 未找到 随后我找找看 能找到 就补充一下

海外逸士

ok. thanks.  but it really doesn't matter.  use your time to better things.

冰默樱娘

综合老师和其他译者的译文，取长补短，樱娘也凑一个：
Rowing the boat to berth at the islet,
At eventide, feels new gloom the guest.
For moor so open,the sky seems hanging o'er trees nearby,
For river so limpid,the moon looks to me so nigh.

海外逸士

我把你這翻譯放到那篇文章裡一起討論。

冰默樱娘

我把你這翻譯放到那篇文章裡一起討論。[/quote]
好的。问候！