【汉英双语】163、酣然入梦

无心剑

酣然入梦
Sweetly Falling Asleep
夜深了，窗外寒风吹
你说：脚太冷，无法入睡
我说：亲，把脚放我胸口上
捂热，让你酣然入梦乡
Deep at night, a chill wind blew outside the window.
You grumbled: "My feet are so cold that I can't sleep."
I said gently: "My dear, just put your feet on my chest,
Let me hold them warm till you sweetly fall asleep."
译于2011年12月11日。

Rhapsodia

hold them warm -------- 有点别扭

无心剑

hold them warm -------- 有点别扭[/quote]
晚枫君，给点建议，怎么改一下？

Rhapsodia

I said gently: "My dear, just put your feet on my chest,
Let me hold them warm till you sweetly fall asleep."
这两句是连贯的，改的话。。。
你看这样行不：
I gently said: "Dear, put them on my chest,
Let me warm them up till you sweetly fall asleep."

无心剑

I said gently: "My dear, just put your feet on my chest,
Let me hold them warm till you sweetly fall ...[/quote]
谢谢晚枫君，warm them up就自然了。

周道模

学习两位！标题如果是《温暖入梦》更贴切？

无心剑

学习两位！标题如果是《温暖入梦》更贴切？[/quote]
谢谢周兄，温暖入梦更贴切。