《目光之远》中翻英

firefly

《目光之远》  文/ 朱枫
In my Sight

无法看到距离三厘米以内的物品
I fail to see anything in three cm.
也无法看清十公里以外的东西  
And even anything beyond ten miles
我的眼睛，活着有限的距离  
My eyes live in narrow distance
一方池水倒影它自已的天空  
As a pool of water inverts its own sky

近不如一只小小的蚂蚁  
My sight isn’t as good as an ant
远不如一只高高的苍鹰  
Not as a high goshawk
在天与地之间，我活着一个生命的短
Between the heaven and earth, I, a life, short live
像影子要活出太阳的光芒
As the shadaw lives like rays of sunlight

一郎天才

一种活法
令人深思
问好.

白沙

提给朱枫兄。感谢firefly 先生。

童天鉴日

Between the heaven and earth, I, a life, short live
最喜欢这句了,

海外逸士

You didn't translate the exact meaning in Chinese. They
should be:
title:  Distance in eyesight
I fail to see anything within three cm
Nor even anything beyond ten miles
My eyes function in limited distance
As a pool of water has its own inverted sky
I can't see as near as an ant
Nor as far as a flying hawk
Between heaven and earth, I live only a short life
As the shadow lives as long as there's sunlight.
A foreigner can understand the above.
The Chinese original is not correct in some lines.

童天鉴日

原帖由 海外逸士 于 2007-10-21 2:22:00 发表
You didn't translate the exact meaning in Chinese. They
should be:
title:  Distance in eyesight
I fail to see anything within three cm
Nor even anything beyond ten miles
My eyes function in......

此译本韵味更足.
谢谢指导,
我们得好好学习.

深意如兰

拜读了。辛苦了！

firefly

原帖由 海外逸士 于 2007-10-21 2:22:00 发表
You didn't translate the exact meaning in Chinese. They
should be:
title:  Distance in eyesight
I fail to see anything within three cm
Nor even anything beyond ten miles
My eyes function in......

海外逸士说的是
的确翻得更好
以后欢迎常常来诗海指教
小弟随时恭候

童天鉴日

原帖由 firefly 于 2007-10-25 17:54:00 发表
[quote] 原帖由 海外逸士 于 2007-10-21 2:22:00 发表
You didn't translate the exact meaning in Chinese. They
should be:
title:  Distance in eyesight
I fail to see anything within three c......

海外先生是我俩翻译的最中肯的指导老师
问好海外先生,希望经常得到您的悉心指导

朱枫

谢，收藏。