《次韻某翁》bilingual

海外逸士

《次韻某翁》Written to the rhyme of a poem by an old gentleman
尋春不見徒徘徊﹐Seeking for Spring in vain, I keep wandering
那管昏鴉著意催。Despite the crows urging me in twilight
花落竟歸何處去﹐Where the falling blossoms go?
水流祇向海邊來。And the water flows only to the sea
終年但願春長在﹐I wish spring could be here all the year round
百歲難逃骨化灰。Even if living to a hundred, no bones can avoid turning to ashes
鎮日鎖眉為低事﹐What knitting the eyebrows all day for?
詩懷且共酒樽開。Please, enjoy poetry with a cup of wine

自娱自乐

百歲難逃骨化灰。Even if living to a hundred, no bones can avoid turning to ashes
How about "even if living to a hundred, turning to ashes no bones can avoid"? ---I feel the rhythm seems better .
詩懷且共酒樽開。Please, enjoy the poetry with the cup of wine
why 'the' not 'a' please?
How about 'Please, enjoy the poetry over a cup of wine"?

自娱自乐

原帖由 海外逸士 于 2008-11-20 8:25:00 发表
《次韻某翁》Written to the rhyme of a poem by an old gentleman
尋春不見徒徘徊﹐Seeking for Spring in vain, I keep wandering

If I didn't read your English version, hehehe, I would associate it with...hehehe, sorry, nowadays we have far too many toboos. :P

海外逸士

How about "even if living to a hundred, turning to ashes no bones can avoid"?
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I think it's not natural.
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How about "even if living to a hundred, turning to ashes no bones can avoid"?
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it's good.  thanks for the suggestion.

自娱自乐

原帖由 海外逸士 于 2008-11-21 9:25:00 发表
How about "even if living to a hundred, turning to ashes no bones can avoid"?
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I think it's not natural.
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How about "even if living to a hundred, turning to ashes no bones can avoid"?
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it's good.  thanks for the suggestion.

Sorry sir, I am completely confused. :Q

海外逸士

confused about what?
the first line is what you said and the second line under the dots is my answer. same with the other two lines under star marks.

自娱自乐

原帖由 海外逸士 于 2008-11-22 7:37:00 发表
confused about what?
the first line is what you said and the second line under the dots is my answer. same with the other two lines under star marks.

Yishi, I think you do need glasses, hehehe, two lines there are exactly the same sentences (from me) but with different answer (from you)
Got it? hehehe

海外逸士

yes, i need glasses.  but you got two different answers all the same.

自娱自乐

原帖由 海外逸士 于 2008-11-24 3:23:00 发表
yes, i need glasses.  but you got two different answers all the same.

hehehe, what do you mean by that?
One positive answer and one negative to the same question? hehehe
I guess you disagree with my first suggestion regarding 'no bones can avoid turning to ashes' (that is yours) ----my one is 'turning to ashes no bones can avoid'
But you sort of appreciate my suggestion in regard to 'enjoy poetry over a cup of wine'
Am I right, sir? hehehe

海外逸士

How about 'Please, enjoy the poetry over a cup of wine"?
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the second answer is to the above.