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楼主: lengshan

【古诗英译】李白《静夜思》,请各位批改、附译

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发表于 2010-9-25 19:02:20 | 显示全部楼层
第一个所得都‘答非所问’,第二个所得,也是唯一所得。
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发表于 2010-9-25 19:14:18 | 显示全部楼层
都是些咏颂月亮的诗歌,大家可以看看。。。
From The Rime of the Acient Mariner
The moving Moon went up the sky.
And nowhere did abide;
Softly she was going up,
And a star or two beside-

By Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772-1834)




        TO THE MOON
Art thou pale for weariness
     Of climbing heaven and gazing on the earth,
Wandering companionless
      Among the stars that have a different birth,
And ever changing, like a Joyless eye
     That finds no object worth its constancy?

By Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792-1822)




Hey diddle diddle,
The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon;
The little dog laughed to see such sport,
And the dish ran away with the spoon.
-A nursery rhyme from the 1700's




Is the moon tired? she looks so pale
Within her misty veil:
She scales the sky from east to west,
And takes no rest.
Before the coming of the night
The moon shows papery white;
Before the dawning of the day
She fades away.

From Sing-Song by Christina Rossetti (1830-1894)





      DEFEATED BY LOVE
The sky was lit
by the splendor of the moon
So powerful
I fell to the ground

Your love
has made me sure

I am ready to forsake
this worldly life
and surrender to the magnificence
of your Being
- Rumi  -- Thanks Anna




      We'll Go No More A-Roving
Though the night was made for loving
And the day returns too soon
Yet we'll go no more a-roving
By the light of the moon

-Byron




0 Lady Moon, your horns point toward the east;
     Shine, be increased:
0 Lady Moon, your horns point toward the west;
     Wane, be at rest.
From Sing-Song by Christina Rossetti




       AT A LUNAR ECLIPSE
Thy shadow, Earth, from Pole to Central Sea,
Now steals along upon the Moon's meek shine
In even monochrome and curving line
Of imperturbable serenity.

How shall I link such sun-cast symmetry
With the torn troubled form I know as thine,
That profile, placid as a brow divine,
With continents of moil and misery?

And can immense Mortality but throw
So small a shade, and Heaven's high human scheme
Be hemmed within the coasts yon arc implies?

Is such the stellar gauge of earthly show,
Nation at war with nation, brains that teem,
Heroes, and women fairer than the skies?

By Thomas Hardy (1840-1928)




       THE HALF MOON SHOWS
A FACE OF PLAINTIVE SWEETNESS
The half moon shows a face of plaintive sweetness
    Ready and poised to wax or wane;
A fire of pale desire in incompleteness,
    Tending to pleasure or to pain:-
Lo, while we gaze she rolleth on in fleetness
    To perfect loss or perfect gain.
Half bitterness we know, we know half sweetness;
    This world is all on wax, on wane:
When shall completeness round time's incompleteness,
    Fulfilling joy, fulfilling pain?-
Lo, while we ask, life rolleth on in fleetness
    To finished loss or finished gain.

By Christina Rossetti




I see the moon,
The moon sees me
God bless the moon,
And God bless me.
-A nursery rhyme




         FULL MOON
One night as Dick lay fast asleep,
     Into his drowsy eyes
A great still light began to creep
     From out the silent skies.
It was the lovely moon's, for when
     He raised his dreamy head,
Her surge of silver filled the pane
     And streamed across his bed.
So, for a while, each gazed at each-
     Dick and the solemn moon-
Till, climbing slowly on her way,
     She vanished, and was gone.

By Walter de la Mare




      Civile Conversation
They make them believe,
according to the Proverbe,
that gloe wormes are lanterns,
and that the moon is made of greene Cheese.

-Stefano Guazzo, 1574




     MOON'S ENDING
Moon, worn thin to the width of a quill,
     In the dawn clouds flying,
How good to go, light into light, and still
     Giving light, dying.

By Sara Teasdale (1884-1933)





         NEW MOON
The new moon, of no importance
lingers behind as the yellow sun glares
and is gone beyond the sea's edge;
earth smokes blue;
the new moon, in cool height above the blushes,
brings a fresh fragrance of heaven to our senses.

By D.H. Lawrence (1885-1930)




I saw the new moon late yestreen,
    Wi' the auld moon in her arm:
And if ye gang to sea, maister,
    I fear we'll suffer harm.
From the anonymous Scottish ballad Sir Patrick Spens




   Sleepyhead

As I lay awake in the white moon light,
I heard a faint singing in the wood,
'Out of bed,
Sleepyhead,
Put your white foot now,
Here are we,
Neath the tree
Singing round the root now!'

I looked out of window, in the white moon light,
The trees were like snow in the wood--
'Come away,
Child, and play
Light with the gnomies;
In a mound,
Green and round,
That's where their home is.
Honey sweet,
Curds to eat,
Cream and frumenty,
Shells and beads,
Poppy seeds,
You shall have plenty.'

But soon as I stooped in the dim moon light
To put on my stocking and my shoes,
The sweet sweet singing died sadly away,
And the light of the morning peeped through:
Then instead of the gnomies there came a red robin
To sing of the buttercups and dew.

- Walter de la Mare





   Silver

Slowly, silently, now the moon
Walks the night in her silver shoon;
This way, and that, she peers, and sees
Silver fruit upon silver trees;
One by one the casements catch
Her beams beneath the silvery thatch;
Couched in his kennel, like a log,
With paws of silver sleeps the dog;
From their shadowy coat the white breasts peep
Of doves in a silver-feathered sleep;
A harvest mouse goes scampering by,
With silver claws, and silver eye;
And moveless fish in the water gleam,
By silver reeds in a silver stream.

- Walter de la Mare





   Winter

Clouded with snow
The cold winds blow,
And shrill on leafless bough
The robin with its burning breast
Alone sings now.

The rayless sun,
Day's journey done,
Sheds its last ebbing light
On fields in leagues of beauty spread
Unearthly white.

Thick draws the dark,
And spark by spark,
The frost-fires kindle, and soon
Over that sea of frozen foam
Floats the white moon.

- Walter de la Mare  -- Thanks To Bob Parks For The Suggestion
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发表于 2010-9-25 19:16:30 | 显示全部楼层
A full moon glares cold (无双引号 google 所得)大家可以对照一下。。。



About 124,000 results (0.15 seconds)
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Killarmy - FULL MOON LYRICS
Killarmy Full Moon lyrics. These Full Moon lyrics are performed by Killarmy. ... />Play the rears<br />Do the knowledge through glares and cold stares<br ...
www.dilyrics.com/killarmy-full-moon-lyrics.html - United States - Cached
KILLARMY - FULL MOON LYRICS
Killarmy Full Moon lyrics . These Full Moon lyrics are performed by Killarmy < chorus> ... Do the knowledge through glares and cold stares. Yo it's hard kid ...
www.metrolyrics.com/full-moon-lyrics-killarmy.html - Cached
KILLARMY - FULL MOON LYRICS
Full Moon lyrics performed by Killarmy. ... Do the knowledge through glares and cold stares. Yo it's hard kid. I swear to my unborn this war's going on ...
www.sing365.com/.../Full-Moon.../ 8EEF3E98A6D822B548256A2A000623F2 - Cached
The Truth about the 2002 Leonid Meteor Storm - NASA Science
5 Apr 2010 ... Rumor has it that a full Moon will ruin the show ... but perhaps there's hope for a ... It was cold, my neck was stiff from hours of looking up, ... Even if the Moon's glare obliterates all but a thousand of those, ...
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full cold moon | NowPublic Photo Archives
12 Dec 2008 ... When these events occur together, the Moon is closer to Earth than usual. The effect? The Full Cold Moon will appear especially large near ...
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Killarmy - Full Moon lyrics
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Videos for a full moon glares cold


Killarmy - Full Moon
4 min - 7 Jul 2008
Uploaded by AnyMan313
youtube.com


Cradle of filth - Beneath the Howling Stars
8 min - 22 Dec 2007
Uploaded by Oragath
youtube.com
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发表于 2010-9-25 19:19:38 | 显示全部楼层
"A full moon glares cold"

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发表于 2010-9-25 20:01:22 | 显示全部楼层
我们有时候认为绝妙无比的句子,洋洋得意,飘飘然,可在老外的眼里确是另外一回事。
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发表于 2010-9-25 23:50:31 | 显示全部楼层
你说的“老外”,如果是指外国的普通大众,那他们的意见只能做个小小的参考。
应该征求一下那些外国诗人、尤其是富于创造性的诗人的意见,他们的见解才应该是很有分量的。
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发表于 2010-9-25 23:54:54 | 显示全部楼层
对于诗歌这种东西,google的统计数字能说明什么问题?
google不过是诗人的鞋垫而已。
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发表于 2010-9-26 00:01:56 | 显示全部楼层
我们写诗译诗,当然可以巧得、乃至追求“绝妙无比”的写法或效果。于大众想象不到、普遍认为不合常理的地方,我们获得了灵感。
关键是,在译诗时,不能胡写明显不符合英语基本语法的句子。
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发表于 2010-9-26 04:09:50 | 显示全部楼层
你说的“老外”,如果是指外国的普通大众,那他们的意见只能做个小小的参考。
应该征求一下那些外国诗人、 ...
poemhunter 发表于 2010-9-25 23:50


请问你是诗人吗?如果是的话,那你写的诗只能让其他诗人来欣赏?这就是你的目的?

莎士比亚的诗只有诗人才能评,学习,欣赏?

不管是诗也好文章也罢,都不能脱离 common sense 这二字。


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发表于 2010-9-26 04:53:20 | 显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 自娱自乐 于 2010-9-26 06:48 编辑
我们写诗译诗,当然可以巧得、乃至追求“绝妙无比”的写法或效果。于大众想象不到、普遍认为不合常理的地方 ...
poemhunter 发表于 2010-9-26 00:01


写诗和译诗在创造理念上还是有不同之处的。

说到写诗 “追求“绝妙无比”的写法或效果,以及普遍认为不合常理的地方时”,我想起我们这儿有位大诗人说过:”读者当时不在场,他们是无法体验诗人那时的感受。“ ,那作为读者也只能‘哑口无言’了。但是译就有不一样了,译者也是读者。


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