华章英韵 | 蝶恋花 ║总第3期

宛城卧龙

  主持人：王如利、丁立群

  朗诵：张明彬；书法：蔡铁勇

Introduction

  “春涨一篙添水面。芳草鹅儿，绿满微风岸。”谷雨过后，春和景明，稻秧插遍，秀麦连冈，满目欣欣向荣。本期《华章英韵》诚邀西京学院青年翻译家史潘荣老师主译范成大《蝶恋花·春涨一篙添水面》，与各位读者一同欣赏春光的美好，体味农桑的喜悦。

    "Spring sees the water rising a pole deep, Fresh grass, like goslings' feathers, verdant on the breezy bar." After Grain Rain comes the gorgeous vernal scenery: the rice seedlings planted, the wheat growing ears, everything has taken on a new look. The third issue of Chinese Verse in English Rhyme presents to you the translation of Fan Chengda's "Spring Sees the Water Rising a Pole Deep — To the Tune of Die Lian Hua" by Mr. Shi Panrong，a promising young translator from Xijing University. Let’s admire the beauty of spring and taste the joy of farming together!

张明斌副教授朗诵

蝶恋花·春涨一篙添水面

宋·范成大

春涨一篙添水面。

芳草鹅儿，绿满微风岸。

画舫夷犹湾百转。

横塘塔近依前远。

江国多寒农事晚。

村北村南，谷雨才耕遍。

秀麦连冈桑叶贱。

看看尝面收新茧。

Spring Sees the Water Rising a Pole Deep

— To the Tune of Die Lian Hua

By FAN Chengda (The Song Dynasty)

Translated by SHI Panrong

Spring sees the water rising a pole deep,

Fresh grass, like goslings' feathers, verdant on the breezy bar;

Painted boats hesitate to forward leap,

Pagoda by Heng Pond, then near, now far;

The World of Water cold, late crops to reap,

From north to south, after Grain Rain, plowed fields to keep;

Eared wheat grows near hills, mulberry leaves cheap,

New flour to taste and new cocoons to heap.

The Translator's Remarks

  诗意阐释：春水涨潮，盈盈水面。水边芳草新绽，鹅儿羽毛初生，微风习习，两种嫩色，染绿河塘堤岸。画船缓缓绕着九曲水湾，横塘高塔，似近犹远。在江南的水乡，春寒依旧，农事来迟。村北，村南，谷雨时节，田耕种遍。麦已结穗，麦浪随风起伏，与山岗连在一起。山冈上，桑树茂盛，桑叶卖价很低。转眼就可以品尝新面，收取新茧。

  英译中文古诗古词，均须考虑原作的直观印象，因为读者读诗读词，无非首先得到音韵、节奏、意象上的读感。此诗（暂按现代术语统一称为“诗”）放在眼前，初读，发现一韵到底，除二、六行外（暂分八行），均为七言，且含“谷雨”节气，一派生机盎然的农事盛景。结合诗意阐释得知，此诗描写了苏州附近的田园风光，抒发了诗人（范成大）对大自然的喜爱之情。英译诗若能呈现出其中的喜感，便是较高的追求。“以诗译诗”是很多译者的追求，译者只能首先译出该诗的本义。虽因语言的差异，音声难以再现，但韵诗英译，能押韵更好，可以对应成几个同押的英文韵脚。此译诗有六行末尾用了“/i:p/”韵，两行末用了“/a:/”韵，可以理解为无奈，也可以理解为变化。

  意象是诗歌的灵魂，英译要精准，需要炼字选词，否则原诗的微妙之处难于传达。前五行含有五个可以呼应的意象：“水”“岸”“湾”“塘”“江”，英译进行了语词对应，但其中的“湾”与上文“夷犹”的含义合并，译成“hesitate to leap forward”，译出神态，有点拟人的味道。时间词“春”“谷雨”均直译，后者异化处理，带有中国文化因素。“芳草”与“鹅儿”的羽毛貌似，其新绿verdant在微风breeze中遍染水岸。

有意思的是，一些意象如“依前远”“多寒”“农事晚”“才耕”“桑叶贱”，理解不好或译不好，可能译出贬义，整个诗意将大异其趣。此译诗初稿为散译，后逐步修改，以成韵译，尽力以轻松的名词句式来呈现，来减少偏离，增加喜感。

    In translating ancient Chinese poems into English, it is necessary to consider the intuitive impression of the original works, because when readers read Chinese-language shi poems and ci poems, they may get the first impression about the rhyme, rhythm and imagery. This poem (called “poem”according to modern terminology herein) in sight, at first reading, I find that there is one rhyme used from the first to the last line, all lines (temporarily divided into eight lines) containing seven characters (Chinese words), except for Line 2 and Line 6 which have 9 characters each. This poem includes an image“Grain Rain”, a solar term created by Chinese culture, which indicates a vivid farming scene. Based on poetic interpretation, it is found that this poem describes the idyllic scenery around Suzhou, a city in South China, and expresses the poet's love for nature. It is better for the English translation to reveal the happy feelings that the poet intends to imply. As is known to all, “translating poetry into poetry” is the pursuit of many translators, so they must be able to first translate the original meaning of the poem. Although it is difficult to represent the original sound due to lingual difference, the English translation of rhymed poetry should always be rendered in rhyme. One of the methods is to imitate the original by finding different English words which share one common rhyme. The /i:p/ sound is used at the end of six lines and the /a:/ sound at the end of Line 2 and Line 4, which can be understood as balance or change in rhyming scheme.

    Image is the soul of poetry. In order to be accurate in English translation, it is necessary to study words and choose words, otherwise the subtlety of the original poem is difficult to convey. The first five lines contain five images: "water", "shore", "bay", "pond" and "river", which jointly form a setting, with "water" as the core image, so the English equivalents are faithful to the original images, except for the meaning of "湾bay" that, together with the meaning of "夷犹hesitate", is translated into "hesitate to leap forward", in which personification is employed. The time images "spring" and "Grain Rain" are translated literally, the latter being alienated to convey Chinese cultural factors. The "芳草fresh grass" and the "鹅儿goslings' feathers" seem to dye the shore with their verdant or yellowish color in the spring breeze.

    Interestingly, some images, such as "依前远far when closer", "多寒mostly cold", "农事晚farming is late", "才耕plowed until now", and "桑叶贱mulberry leaves are cheap", if poorly interpreted or translated, may be represented to the effect of showing a totally opposite — derogatory — meaning, with a totally distorted poetical taste. This English translation of the poem is a prose translation at first, only revised to contain rhymes and easy noun phrases later on, so as to decrease deviation and increase sense of joy.

The Translator

  史潘荣，西京学院英语教师，中国国学双语研究会会员，陕西译协理事，多家期刊英文编审，出版诗集《流动的抒情》(2004)。

       Shi Panrong (aka Joseph Spring), English teacher of Xijing University, member of Chinese Classics Bilinguals Association, member of Shaanxi Translators Association, and editor for several periodicals and journals. His publications include a poetry book, Flowing Lyricism (2004).

主办：中诗网 译诗群

总策划：周占林 宛城卧龙

陈敬良

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