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英译 清•袁枚:苔,也学牡丹开

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发表于 2020-9-23 23:40:19 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
英译 清•袁枚:苔,也学牡丹开
|  禄沐东译

原文:
白日不到处,青春恰自来。
苔花如米小,也学牡丹开。

之前已有14个版本,因此,思想比语言重要,见附。把旧体诗译成英文,就要丢失(字数即格式和结构,音节,韵律)整齐之美和妙用(用景借意)之美,往往就译成了现代诗,不能很好地忠实原诗的格式美,结构美和妙用美,既然能有这么多翻译版本,那么,在本版翻译时,应尽可能追求原作味道。

  Moss
Yuan Mei

Where never coshered from sunshine
Its puberty just comes on-time
Even though small as grain
Struggles on blooming as moutan
(禄沐东译1)
Never coshered from sunshine
Its puberty comes on-time
Although small as grain
Also blooms following moutan
(禄沐东译2)

译记:译者以为用 cosher,puberty 等更符合原诗的愿意,尽可能每句保持五个词,以表达类似中文的格式整齐美。

——————————————————
附:英文巴士 14个译版
首页翻译典籍英译诗歌翻译:袁枚·《苔》

The Leek Flowers
Yuan Mei

Where the sun does not arrive,
Springtime does on its own thrive.
The leek flowers like rice tiny,
Rush to bloom like the peony.
(赵彦春 译)

The Leek Flowers
Yuan Mei

Where the sun does not shine,
Springtime still will be fine.
The leek flowers like rice tiny,
Rush to bloom like the peony.
(赵彦春 译)

Mosses
Yuan Mei

Where sunshine’s hidden,
Youth comes unbidden.
Mosses bud like rice,
Yet bloom like peonies.
(许景城 译)

Moss
Yuan Mei

Where the sunlight does not shine,
Spring-like scene prevails just fine.
Blooming moss is small as rice,
Still in prime as peony nice.
(吴伟雄 译)

Moss
Yuan Mei1

Where the sun refuses to shine,
Green moss thrives just as fine.
The budding moss is small as grain,
The beauty of peony it tries to gain.
(顾丹柯 译)


Moss
Yuan Mei

Bright sun can’t reach me here,
Toward me vitality still walks near.
Moss blossoms, tiny as grains,
Are in bloom as peony gains.
(任诚刚 译)

Moss
Yuan Mei

Where sunlight cannot penetrate,
There verdant spring at will may go.
The grain-like moss will imitate
The peony’s large flower and grow.
(许渊冲 译)

Mosses
Yuan Mei

Where sunshine misses,
Out young life blisses.
Tiny as rice is,
Bloom like peonies.
(徐英才 译)

Moss
Yuan Mei

Where there’s no sunshine,
On its own green moss thrives fine.
Though as tiny as a grain is its flower,
It learns from peony to bloom with power.
(黎历 译)

Moss
Yuan Mei

Failure of sunshine,
Millet-like moss never fails
To bloom its youth by itself:
It is a peony-like bloomer.
(张智中 译)

Liver Mosses
Yuan Mei

Where there can be no sunshine
Youthfulness sparkle in due time.
The flowers are small as grains of millet,
Yet they bloom like peonies just as well.
(王晋熙、文殊 译)

Moss
Yuan Mei

Where the sun shine does not reach,
Spring arrives yet in time each.
Moss flower tiny as a grain of sand,
Trying to bloom like peony on land.
(杨俊峰 译)

Moss
Yuan Mei

Where there is no sun’s grace,
moss grows at its own pace.
It buds like rice grains tiny,
but blooms like the peony.
(孟祥春 译)

Moss
Yuan Mei

Not bathing in sunlight,
Verdure grows in its own right.
Though tiny like millets,
Moss blooms match peonies bright.
(石永浩 译)

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