【the eagle】英译中【鹰】

嘉木子

   

    Tennyson                           

He Clasps the crag with crooked hands;

Close to the sun in lonely lands.

Ringed with the azure world, he stands

The wrinkled sea beneath him crawls.

The watches from his mountain walls,

And like a thunderbolt he falls.

鹰

丁尼生

钩般的爪，紧扣危岩

它，孤峰处头接艳阳

突兀而立，冠冕蓝天

翱翔之下波澜微绽

群峰之上盘桓凝望

嘎然落，迅如雷电

                              嘉木译

自娱自乐

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Thanks for sharing...

自娱自乐

"The Eagle" is a short poem by Alfred Lord Tennyson and was first published in 1851, when it was added to the seventh edition of Tennyson’s Poems, which had itself been published first in 1842. The first stanza of this consciously styled "fragment" poem personifies an eagle, describing its claws as "hands" and conferring upon the bird almost the status of the lonely, Romantic outsider. In the second stanza, the eagle dives upon the object it has seen far below, but which the poet does not record. Also in the poem he refers to the bird as a male, this refers to the pride. The idea of dominance he has is especially evident in line 5 where Tennyson referred to the "crags" being "mountain walls," which symbolizes the eagle guarding his "fortress."

自娱自乐

in lonely lands-----孤峰
Ringed with -----冠冕蓝天
The wrinkled sea beneath him crawls ------翱翔之下粼波涨澜

嘉木子

首先谢谢:rose 自娱君支持:share:

嘉木子

原帖由 自娱自乐 于 2009-5-19 21:03:00 发表
in lonely lands-----孤峰
Ringed with -----冠冕蓝天
The wrinkled sea beneath him crawls ------翱翔之下粼波涨澜

对于请教，小木子可不敢:) ，只是发表一些个人的认识，谢谢自娱兄的问题:share: ，不知小木的如下回答，自娱君满意不呢？:sun: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: 不要醉了哦！！！
1.lonely lands 字面意思是荒凉的，孤独的地方，lands有平原、凸面的意思，而 孤立的山峰 正好却也是一个荒凉而孤立的，不单止凸显了山势险峻，也凸显了鹰的孤傲，个人觉得 用孤峰恰好能表达其中的意境，在原文lonely lands 的原意上也得到了延伸；
2.Ringed with ：“ringed”用环围绕的；被包围的 与 with 组成词组 意为：用……所环围绕；被……所包围，而蔚蓝的天空不正好在突兀而立的鹰头顶之上吗？蓝天正如正如一顶王冠一样冠冕在头上，给人于无限张力的想象，同时冠冕一词也表达了鹰的孤傲，高贵的地位；
3、The wrinkled sea beneath him crawls ：此句中在第二节是描写鹰在天空中爬行飞翔下，粼粼波澜，粼粼是涌动起伏的海水反射着第一节里太阳的光芒，只有在这种苍茫，在这种张力不断的想象力，才能凸显了鹰之下江浪的渺小。原文中虽然没有提到 粼光 ，但是 beneath 已经把暗藏于中了。

自娱自乐

原帖由 嘉木子 于 2009-5-19 18:42:00 发表

   

    Tennyson                           

   Tennyson                           

He Clasps the crag with crooked hands;

Close to the sun in lonely lands.

Ringed with the azure world, he stands

The wrinkled sea beneath him crawls.

The watches from his mountain walls,

And like thunderbolt he falls.

In the last line an 'A' is missing. Just a friendly reminder!

嘉木子

谢谢 自娱君提醒:share:
:beer: :beer: :beer: :beer: :beer:  改正

自娱自乐

对于请教，小木子可不敢。只是发表一些个人的认识，谢谢自娱兄的问题，不知小木的如下回答，自娱君满意不呢？

“子曰：‘三人行，必有我师焉。择其善者而从之，其不善者而改之。’


不要醉了哦！！！


醉了？不会，绝对不会。俺以前贴过一首打油诗，是给逸士的。那么现在就改头换面一下再送给小嘉子吧，呵呵呵

娱乐今年八十九，一生爱好是美酒，诚邀嘉君喝一杯，看谁不醉能持久？

lonely lands 字面意思是荒凉的，孤独的地方，lands有平原、凸面的意思，而 孤立的山峰 正好却也是一个荒凉而孤立的，不单止凸显了山势险峻，也凸显了鹰的孤傲，个人觉得 用孤峰恰好能表达其中的意境，在原文lonely lands 的原意上也得到了延伸；

Hehehe, this is exactly where the issue is. 原文没有提及‘孤峰’，这是你的解读，你的赏析，你的感受，there is no mention at all of ‘a lonely peak’ in this poem. For sure this is exactly what the poet meant to let his readers see it through their mind’s eye, and you of course can also let your imagination run as wildly as you like, but I don’t think you should have spoon-fed what you digested to your potential readers, right? Another word, no one should deprive his readers of their imagination in appreciating this poem, albeit they might not be able to read the original. Well, furthermore, as yishi always teaches us, a translator is not a writer, who can’t write whatever he feels like, hehehe

中国有个不好的传统，那就是在喂小孩子吃饭时，有些老人总喜欢先把食物放进自己的嘴里嚼细了，然后吐出来再喂小孩…..O,yuck! hehehe

Ringed with ：“ringed”用环围绕的；被包围的 与 with 组成词组 意为：用……所环围绕；被……所包围，而蔚蓝的天空不正好在突兀而立的鹰头顶之上吗？蓝天正如正如一顶王冠一样冠冕在头上，给人于无限张力的想象，同时冠冕一词也表达了鹰的孤傲，高贵的地位；

Once again, there is no mention of crown, so it is your personal interpretation, which I have no objection at all. Well, my comments are the same as abovementioned. To be honest with you, I really admire your awesome imagination, which is absolutely vital for a poet – translator.

The wrinkled sea beneath him crawls ：此句中在第二节是描写鹰在天空中爬行飞翔下，粼粼波澜，粼粼是涌动起伏的海水反射着第一节里太阳的光芒，只有在这种苍茫，在这种张力不断的想象力，才能凸显了鹰之下江浪的渺小。原文中虽然没有提到 粼光 ，但是 beneath 已经把暗藏于中了。

你的译文和原文还是有一点距离的。Tennyson 笔下的海在雄鹰翱翔之下变得‘只能腾细浪’了，而在你的笔下却仍然‘波然壮阔’，呵呵呵

周道模

the sun in lonely land
似乎是：  land = sky ?