声声慢--(李清照)bilingual

海外逸士

声声慢--(李清照)
寻寻觅觅，冷冷清清，凄凄惨惨戚戚。乍暖还寒时候，最难将息。三杯两盏淡酒，怎敌他、晚来风急？雁过也，正伤心，却是旧时相识。
满地黄花堆积。憔悴损，如今有谁堪摘？守著窗儿，
独自怎生得黑？梧桐更兼细雨，到黄昏,
点点滴滴。这次第，怎一个、愁字了得！

Seek, seek; lonely, quiet; distressful, sorrowful, woeful.
When it just turns warm, but still cold, it’s hardest to have full rest.
Two or three cups of light wine, how to fend the evening wind so strong?
The wild geese pass—I feel heart-broken—since they are my old acquaintance.

All over the ground the yellow flowers in heaps.
Languished as I am, who will now pick them?
Keeping myself at the window, how can I fare alone till nightfall?
Chinese parasol, plus drizzles on it, dripping and dripping;
At this moment, what can I do with the word “sorrow”?

《声声慢》又名《胜胜慢》，清照这首词改押入声韵，并屡用叠字和双声字，这就变舒缓为急促，变哀惋为凄厉。此词以豪放纵恣之笔写激动悲怆之怀，不能列入婉约体。这首作法独特的词，就其内容而言，是一篇悲秋赋。
　
　　开端三句用一连串叠字写主人公一整天的愁苦心情，从“寻寻觅觅”开始，可见她从一起床便百无聊赖，如有所失，于是东张西望，仿佛飘流海洋中的人要抓到点什么才能得救似的，希望找到点什么来寄托自己的空虚寂寞。下文“冷冷清清”，是“寻寻觅觅”的结果，不但无所获，反被一种孤寂清冷的气氛袭来，使自己感到凄惨忧戚。于是紧接着再写了一句“凄凄惨惨戚戚”。仅此三句，定下一种愁惨而凄厉的基调。
　
　　“乍暖还寒时候”是此词的难点之一。此词作于秋天，但秋天的气候应该说“乍寒还暖”，只有早春天气才能用得上“乍暖还寒”。所以，这首词是写一日之晨，秋日清晨，朝阳初出，故言“乍暖”；但晓寒犹重，秋风砭骨，故言“还寒”。至于“时候”二字宋时已与现代汉语无殊了。“最难将息”句则与上文“寻寻觅觅”句相呼应，说明从一清早自己就不知如何是好。
　
　　“三杯两盏淡酒，怎敌他晓来风急”，“晓”，通行本作“晚”。从全词意境来看，应该是“晓”字。
　
　　说“晓来风急”，正与上文“乍暖还寒”相合。古人晨起于卯时饮酒，又称“扶头卯酒”。这句是说借酒无法消愁“雁过也”的“雁”，是南来秋雁，正是往昔北方见到的，所以说“正伤心，却是旧时相识”了。这一句是虚写，以寄寓作者的怀乡之情。
　
　　下片由秋日高空转入自家庭院。园中开满了菊花，秋意正浓。这里“满地黄花堆积”是指菊花盛开，而非残英满地。“憔悴损”是指自己因忧伤而憔悴瘦损，也不是指菊花枯萎凋谢。正由于自己无心看花，虽值菊堆满地，却不想去摘它赏它，然而人不摘花，花当自萎；及花已损，则欲摘已不堪摘了。这里既写出了自己无心摘花的郁闷，又透露了惜花将谢的情怀，笔意深远。
　
　　“守著窗儿”句，写独坐无聊，内心苦闷之状，比“寻寻觅觅”三句又过之而无不及。这一句从反面说，好象天有意不肯黑下来而使人尤为难过。“梧桐”两句兼用温庭筠《更漏子》下片“梧桐树，三更雨，不道离情正苦；一叶叶，一声声，空阶滴到明”词意，把两种内容融而为一，笔直情切。最后以“怎一个愁字了得”句作收，是独辟蹊径。自庚信以来，诗人写愁，多半极言其多。这里却化多为少，只说自己思绪纷茫复杂，仅用一个“愁”字如何包括得尽。妙又不说明于一个“愁”字之外更有什么心情，即戛然而止。表面上有“欲说还休”之势，实际上已倾泻无遗。
　
　　这首词始终紧扣悲秋之意，尽得六朝抒情小赋之神髓；又以接近口语的朴素清新的语言谱入新声，写尽了作者晚年的凄苦悲愁，是一首个性独具的抒情名作。

自娱自乐

Great! Yes, it is truly a much better version even in a layman's opinion by comparision with the other four versions in terms of style and simplicity, accuracy and versification. Good on you yishi!
Having said that, I have a couple of questions to ask. Well, I know you might say (highly likely) it has something to do with so called rhythm or syllable-counting or whatever)
1. Why did you drop 'off' that usually goes with 'fend' to mean 'ward off', if you only use 'fend', would it be interpreted as 'defend' (archaic)?
2. 憔悴损，如今有谁堪摘？----- Languished as I am, who will now pick them?
languished as I am ----well, it could mean 'although I am languished', couldn't it? So...do you think it is fit?
欣赏！

周道模

Yes, so good to learn from.   My idea is the same as the above's.

自娱自乐

逸士，你是否觉得你这个版本可谓是‘举重若轻’的一个范例？
Don't know if it is ok in this way?
Seek, search; so lonely, so quiet; distressful, sorrowful, and woeful.
When it just turns warm, yet still chill, it’s hardest to be restful.

海外逸士

1, you can use fend off  as a phrase.  I didn't use it for rhythm sake.
2. my structure is often used, more poetic and literary.
3. seek is a better verb used in poems or literature- writing than search. you can use  so  there as you like.
4. to be restful  is  ok.  different people choose different words to use, with no difference in meaning.

自娱自乐

Thanks very much for your reply!
What about my second question?

自娱自乐

Seek, search; so lonely, so quiet; doleful, rueful, and woeful.
When it just turns warm, yet still chill, it’s hardest to be restful.
Two or three cups of light wine, how to fend the evening gale so fast?
I feel heart-broken as the wild geese, my old acquaintance, fly past.
Seek, search; so lonely, so quiet; so woeful, so rueful, so distressful.
When it just turns warm, yet still chill, it’s hardest to be restful.
Two or three cups of light wine, how to fend the evening wind so powerful?
As the wild geese, my old acquaintance, fly past, I feel ever so sorrowful.

自娱自乐

Seek, search; so lonely, so quiet; so doleful, so rueful, so distressful.
When it just turns warm, yet still chill, it’s hardest to be restful.
Two or three cups of light wine, how to forefend night gale blowing fast?
I feel heart-broken as my old acquaintance, the wild geese fly past.
The yellow flowers in heaps are all over the ground.
I am so languished, and who will now pick them from around.
How can I fare alone till dusk while keeping myself at window?
Drizzles through Chinese parasol, dripping on and on, woe.
At this instant, what can I do with the word “sorrow”?
Try to rhyme but only find it very hard to be loyal to the original as always.

童天鉴日

学习

自娱自乐

Hi yishi, what do you think of 'forefend'?
Is it ok to use it?