迴文詩（宋）蘇軾

海外逸士

賞花歸去馬如飛,去馬如飛酒力微.酒力微醒時已暮, 醒時已暮賞花歸.

Rondeau-like Poem
by Qin Guan of Song Dynasty

Return after watching flowers, the horse galloping;
The horse galloping, wine drinking slight.
Wine drinking slight awake as it is late;
Awake as it is late, return after watching flowers.

迴文詩要譯成相應的迴文詩形式還真不容易﹐但如不譯成迴文詩形式就毫無意義了。這是新嘗試。

其中“酒力微”譯得尚不滿意。待改.

自娱自乐

酒力微是不是表示有点微醉？
tipsy or tiddly

自娱自乐

酒力微醒是不是表示刚刚有点酒醒/清醒？

自娱自乐

去馬如飛---The horse galloping
老逸士，这‘去’字好像让你给‘贪污’了，呵呵呵

无心剑

这首词以前也鼓捣过，待会儿贴上来受批。

自娱自乐

hehehe, just having fun...:P
Returning after watching flowers, the returning horse galloping;
The returning horse galloping, wine drinking, so tipsy.
So tipsy, wine drinking, a little awaking as it is late;
A little awaking as it is late, returning after watching flowers.

无心剑

圆周回文诗一首英译
赏花
苏轼
踏花归去马蹄飞，
去马蹄飞酒力微。
酒力微醒时已暮，
醒时已暮踏花归。
Going Home Treading on Fallen Flowers Fine
Word by Su Shi，Tr. by Tie Bing
Treading on fallen flowers fine my flying horse was homing,
On my flying horse homing I was kind of drunk with wine.
I got kind of sobered from wine when it was gloaming,
Sobered at gloaming, we went home treading on fallen flowers fine.
附：华兄译文及铁冰点评
译文一：Enjoying Flowers
I tread on flowers and return with horse's hooves in flight,
With horse's hooves in flight, I feel a little drunk in the wine.
As I sober up from the wine, it has been already at twilight,
At twilight I tread on flowers and return with a mood so fine.
译文二：Enjoying Flowers
Treading on fallen flowers, my horse returns in flight,
On my horse in flight, I feel a little drunk in the wine.
When I sober from the wine, it is already at twilight,
I return on my horse on flowers with a mood so fine.
译文二较好，译文一点评如下。
第1行：“踏花”的应该是马，译文中变成了“我”亲自踏花。难怪岩子理解为“从英译文看，诗人去的时候，没有骑马”。如果是这样（其实原诗并没有提到“去”，只说到“归”，而从译文也读不出“去”），那么译文第一行就应该如此断句：I tread on flowers | and return with horse's hooves in flight，其意思就成了：我在落花上踩了踩，然后骑着马飞一般归去。另：中文可直接说“踏花”，但英文不能省掉fallen一词。
第2行：两个分句之间缺乏逻辑联系，且没点明“骑马”。如果是my horse，就会好得多。
第3行：twilight这个词应该慎用，因为它可以是“黄昏”，也可以是“黎明”。读者完全可以理解为作者通宵饮酒，然后在曙光初露的时候骑马回家。
第4行：没译出“骑马”（铁译用了we，就是指人和马），又成了“人直接踏花”。

海外逸士

這詩究竟是秦觀的﹐還是蘇軾的﹖

自娱自乐

A.
賞花歸去馬如飛,去馬如飛酒力微.酒力微醒時已暮, 醒時已暮賞花歸.
B.
踏花归去马蹄飞，去马蹄飞酒力微。酒力微醒时已暮，醒时已暮踏花归。
到底是二个版本呢还是。。。？

海外逸士

現在問題卡在原文的第二句結尾﹐和第三句開頭的地方。前面是“酒力微”﹐後面成
了“酒力微醒”。英文那邊轉不過來了。因為要用詞仍是一致。