【英文小诗】<Grief> 诗/无心剑

无心剑

You left me without even a word;
No more can your voice be heard!
You cruelly take my heart away;
So soon my hair has turned gray.
Cup after cup I drink bitter wine;
Tearfully, more and more I pine.
Grief gnaws my soul every night,
Without you nothing can be right.
Written on December 6, 2009
【铁冰译文】
你一言不发离我而去，
再也听不到你的话语。
你残忍地将我心夺走，
让我转眼间白发满头。
我一杯一杯喝着苦酒，
滴滴泪水将思念湿透。
哀愁夜夜在断肠摧肝，
没有你一切都是扯淡。

无心剑

Cup by cup I drink the bitter wine; 此处省掉the好像也可以吧！

自娱自乐

You left me without a single word at all;
Not any more can I hear your voice call!
You've relentlessly torn my heart apart;
How could you play such a ruthless part?
One cup after another I down bitter wine;
Crying on and on, more and more I pine.
Grief mercilessly gnaws my soul outright,
Oh, baby, I can't live without you tonight.

无心剑

how wonderful it is! it conquers my heart!

自娱自乐

Thanks, but it is your one that conquers my heart and soul first!

周道模

无心君结尾含蓄些、宽广些。学习各位！

无心剑

普敬兄，你这样理解当然是可以的，译文中体现译者与作者不同的想法是很好的。

无心剑

谢谢周兄品读。

铁_冰

You left me without even a word; 你一言不发离我而去
No more can your voice be heard!再也听不到你的话语
You cruelly take my heart away;   你残忍地将我心夺走
So soon my hair has turned gray. 让我转眼间白发满头
Cup after cup I drink bitter wine;  我一杯一杯喝着苦酒
Tearfully, more and more I pine.   滴滴泪水将思念湿透
Grief gnaws my soul every night,  哀愁夜夜在断肠摧肝
Without you nothing can be right.没有你一切都是扯淡

铁_冰

冒用剑兄风格，以豆腐块译之。