【自译】
Drowned in between my drinks and dreams all day long, between一词用得妙，形神俱似，drink和dream押头韵，富有音美
Yet on hearing spring's gone, up to the hill I drudge along. yet衔接得好，得英文之妙
I come to chat with monks as walking by the bamboo hut,
So half a day for leisure out of a floating life I manage to cut.
“偷”字译得又啰嗦又不准确。原文意思是这半日闲是无意中、意外的“偷”得的，译文成了费心去cut得
原帖由 铁_冰 于 2010-1-25 11:20:00 发表
【无译】
Deeply drunk in dream after dream the whole day,
I force myself up the hill on hearing spring's away. 这是什么结构？回译是何意？I force myself up the hill as told that spring's away如何？
Talking with a monk as I pass the Bamboo Temple,
I steal half a day from my floating life to be so idle.这是半日闲还是浮生闲？
第二句：do sth. on hearing sth. 一听到……就去做……
第四句：I steal sth. from sth. to be so idle，不定式短语不是作定语而是作补语。
Drunk in between my drinks and dreams all day long, Yet on hearing spring's leaving, I drudge up to the hill. By the bamboo hut I chat with monks as we walk along, Thus I pinch half a day of a floating life for leisure to fill.
I'm drowsy between drunk and dream for all day long;
Manage to climb the mountain, hearing spring is gone.
As passing bamboo yard, I talk to a monk with pleasure,
And get in floating life another half-day's leisure.
昏昏 drowsy,
強登山﹐不是強迫登山﹐而是勉強登山。 manage to do sth.
“又” another
這種小地方﹐我想應該譯出來的。
原帖由 海外逸士 于 2010-1-26 8:02:00 发表
I'm drowsy between drunk and dream for all day long;
Manage to climb the mountain, hearing spring is gone.
As passing bamboo yard, I talk to a monk with pleasure,
And get in floating life another half-day's leisure.
昏昏 drowsy,
強登山﹐不是強迫登山﹐而是勉強登山。 manage to do sth.
“又” another
這種小地方﹐我想應該譯出來的。
well, strictly speaking, long doesn't rhyme with gone.
where could we find any reference to the word 'pleasure' in this line?
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发表于 2010-1-25 11:31:00