【汉英双语】《玉兰》

无心剑 · 发表于 2010-2-26 16:38:00

本帖最后由雨荷风于 2015-10-7 14:11 编辑

玉兰
Magnolia
春风过枝头，
玉兰花含羞。
携手共君赏，
一冬愁尽收。
Spring breeze blows branches by,
Magnolias burst into bloom so shy.
We together enjoy them with cheer,
Griefs in the past winter disappear.
译于2010年2月26日。
【自娱自乐译本】
Over treetops spring breeze swishes,
Magnolias bloom with a bashful air.
Let's go to enjoy them here and there,
Sorrow in the past winter vanishes.

Over the treetops spring breeze blows
To awake the magnolias into coy bloom.
Hand in hand let's go to enjoy the sight
To dispel the winter’s gloom to its doom.

Over the treetops spring breeze blows
To entice magnolias into bashful bloom.
Hand in hand let's go to enjoy the sight
To kick the winter’s gloom to its doom.
Over the treetops vernal breeze breathes
To entice magnolias to bashfully blossom.
Hand in hand let's go to enjoy such a sight
To kick winter’s gloom out of our bosom.

【云天2010译本】

Over treetops vernal breeze wafts in delight
To blow the magnolias into many a shy bloom
Hand in hand you and I go enjoy such a sight
To disperse away all the cold winter’s gloom.

周道模 · 发表于 2010-2-27 09:19:00

本帖最后由雨荷风于 2015-10-7 14:11 编辑

玉兰花特色，请君细雕刻。

金沙文字 · 发表于 2010-2-27 10:16:00

本帖最后由雨荷风于 2015-10-7 14:11 编辑

“携手”甚美。提供背景更好.....................:coffee

自娱自乐 · 发表于 2010-2-28 17:52:00

本帖最后由雨荷风于 2015-10-7 14:11 编辑

春风过枝头，
玉兰花含羞。
携手共君赏，
一冬愁尽收。
Over treetops spring breeze swishes,
Magnolias bloom with a bashful air.
Let's go to enjoy them here and there,
Sorrow in the past winter vanishes.

无心剑 · 发表于 2010-2-28 21:00:00

本帖最后由雨荷风于 2015-10-7 14:11 编辑

有君同乐，其乐无穷啊！O(∩_∩)O~

海外逸士 · 发表于 2010-2-28 23:38:00

本帖最后由雨荷风于 2015-10-7 14:11 编辑

Spring breeze blows branches by,
better use "brushes" instead of "blows". "blow by" sounds weird.
Spring breeze brushes branches by.

云天2010 · 发表于 2010-3-1 02:44:00

本帖最后由雨荷风于 2015-10-7 14:11 编辑

join the fun: :-)

玉兰
Magnolia
春风过枝头，
玉兰花含羞。
携手共君赏，
一冬愁尽收。
Over treetops vernal breeze wafts in delight
To blow the magnolias into many a shy bloom
Hand in hand you and I go enjoy such a sight
To disperse away all the cold winter’s gloom.

自娱自乐 · 发表于 2010-3-1 07:38:00

本帖最后由雨荷风于 2015-10-7 14:11 编辑

呵呵呵，不错，有味道，欣赏，学习。
disperse 和 away 搭配是不是语义重复了？呵呵呵

自娱自乐 · 发表于 2010-3-1 07:40:00

本帖最后由雨荷风于 2015-10-7 14:11 编辑

Inspired by Cloud's superb ideas, I give it a try again for fun...^-^
Over the treetops spring breeze blows
To awake the magnolias into coy bloom.
Hand in hand let's go to enjoy the sight
To dispel the winter’s gloom to its doom.
Over the treetops spring breeze blows
To entice magnolias into bashful bloom.
Hand in hand let's go to enjoy the sight
To kick the winter’s gloom to its doom.

自娱自乐 · 发表于 2010-3-1 17:57:00

本帖最后由雨荷风于 2015-10-7 14:11 编辑

Over the treetops vernal breeze breathes
To entice magnolias to bashfully blossom.
Hand in hand let's go to enjoy such a sight
To kick winter’s gloom out of our bosom.

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【汉英双语】《玉兰》

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