【古诗英译】觀滄海 （三國）曹操

海外逸士

東臨碣石，以觀滄海。水何澹澹，山島竦峙。
樹木叢生，百草丰茂。秋風蕭瑟，洪波涌起。
日月之行，若出其中；星漢燦爛，若出其裡。
幸甚至哉！歌以詠志。
Watching the Blue Sea
by Cao Cao of Three Kingdoms period
Arriving at Jieshi in east
To watch the blue sea.
Water’s so tranquil;
Islands tower high.
Woods grow here and there;
All sorts of grass so lush.
Autumn winds soughing;
Billows surging.
The move of sun and moon
As if out of waves.
Galaxies of stars so brilliant
Like out from the sea.
Lucky to the utmost;
I sing out my wish.

无心剑

欣赏学习!

Louisa

Enjoy ! But there is something that sounds unnatural to the ear.
Watching the Blue Sea
by Cao Cao of Three Kingdoms period
Arriving at Jieshi in east
To watch the blue sea.
Water’s so tranquil;        (How does a word of "tranquil" echo a phrase in the 8th line)
Islands tower high.
Woods grow here and there;
All sorts of grass so lush. (suggestion: Grass is  lush far and nigh)
Autumn winds soughing;
Billows surging.
The move of sun and moon
As if out of waves.
Galaxies of stars so brilliant
Like out from the sea.    (sounds strange. suggestion: " seem to drop into the sea")
Lucky to the utmost;  ( seems awkward . suggestion: "Lucky at this sight")
I sing out my wish.
all my suggestions are only for your reference.

原野一郎

Well, you might have a valid point, having said that, we may ponder if it should be construed as the water was calm, but when the autumn wind blows, billows start to surge?

童天鉴日

海外逸士

How does a word of "tranquil" echo a phrase in the 8th line
即使我用rippling﹐也有同樣問題。這只能說詩人先描寫海面靜靜的﹐只有微波﹐
後來描寫浪大了。這都根據原文。譯者無法改變。
suggestion: Grass is  lush far and nigh
原文是﹕百草丰茂。沒是遠近都有。
suggestion: " seem to drop into the sea")
原文是﹕若出。沒說“似掉落”。OUT  FROM 是常用結構。請再多讀幾遍。
suggestion: "Lucky at this sight"
原文是﹕幸甚至哉！跟SIGHT 沒關係。至哉！TO  THE  UTMOST。我也讀過好多遍﹐
沒覺得什麼。謝謝探討。

海外逸士

用起伏與遠近對應﹐用SIGHT呼應題目作結﹐這個想法很好﹐如果是自己寫詩的話。
不過﹐曹操沒這麼寫﹐我不能這麼譯。這成了再創造。謝謝討論。

Louisa

译诗不是译科技文，它内容是什么，就译什么。比译内容更重要的是诗歌的乐感。没有了乐感，诗歌的美感消失，只留下一堆意思。

海外逸士

詩感要建立在確切翻譯原文的意思上。把原文的意思隨意改動是違反翻譯原則的。隨
意改動原文後的東西是譯者自己的創作或改寫﹐不再是翻譯。

木樨黄谷

提起再读