再來一段短文

海外逸士

選自林海雪原,因為看來firefly沒有合適的東西繙譯了.
这是民间流传着的形容老爷岭的话。这话一点也不假，真是山连山，山叠山，山外有
山，山上有山，山峰插进了云端，林梢穿破了天。虎啸熊嗷，野猪成群，豹哮鹿鸣，黄羊结
队，入林仰面不见天，登峰俯首不见地。一小撮杀人不眨眼的匪徒躲在这茫茫的林海里，哪
里去寻？哪里去找？

童天鉴日

提上来

firefly

唉 来晚了 还是让童版抢了沙发
都怪中午那可恶的停电

firefly

这是民间流传着的形容老爷岭的话。这话一点也不假，真是山连山，山叠山，山外有
山，山上有山，山峰插进了云端，林梢穿破了天。虎啸熊嗷，野猪成群，豹哮鹿鸣，黄羊结
队，入林仰面不见天，登峰俯首不见地。一小撮杀人不眨眼的匪徒躲在这茫茫的林海里，哪
里去寻？哪里去找？
These're some words spread in folk about describing the Lordling Mountain. Truly, there're mountains linked, mountains overlapped; and mountains behind mountains, mountains over mountains; the peak rises into clouds, the treetop pierces the sky. And the tiger roars, the bear growls, the boar herds together, the leopard roars, the deer howls, and the antelope troops. One cannot see the sky in woods when looking up, nor see the earth when on peaks looking down. A small group of bandits hide in such a sea of vast forest, where to search for them?

firefly

嗯 我想说点标点的问题
我感觉英文的标点使用和汉语不太一样
具体也说不清
还是留给大家回答吧

白沙

给各位助兴，我拍巴掌吧！

海外逸士

白沙女士難得露面﹐請也露一手。
NOW  TO  FIREFLY﹕
慢慢譯﹐別急。提示﹕第一句有語法錯誤。請自己先把語法查一下﹐改一下﹐隨後
再討論。

firefly

原帖由 海外逸士 于 2008-5-29 6:34:00 发表
白沙女士難得露面﹐請也露一手。
NOW  TO  FIREFLY﹕
慢慢譯﹐別急。提示﹕第一句有語法錯誤。請自己先把語法查一下﹐改一下﹐隨後
再討論。

晕! 看来只有firefly这种天才才会犯这种低级错误啊
下面的原来也看不出来问题
但估计经我大胆改动后就有问题了
辩解具体如下 嘿嘿
1 分号的试用
我看那么多的山都把我绕晕了
害怕老外也晕，就自作聪明加了些分号
2 单复数和冠词的变动
比如peaks 改成 the peak 了 语法上估计都没问题吧
但我感觉后者更正规些
3 One cannot see the sky when looking up in woods, nor see the earth when at peak looking down.
at peak 调序了怕被误解为 往下看山顶
但调序后感觉不顺
4 A smallgroup of bandits hide in such a sea of vast forest, where should search and seek?
感觉这句应该加点连接词 比如since/so/then/什么的
后来加了should, 主语没加 不知道有没有这种表达

firefly

考虑再三 为了方便大家对比学习 还是把初稿当反面教材发上来吧
丢脸是光荣的 忽然发现
This’s some words about describing the Lordling Mountain spread in folk. Truly, there are mountains in chain, re-lapped, mountains behind mountains, mountains over mountains, peaks rise into the clouds, treetops reach for the sky. And the tiger roars, bear wails, boar herds together, leopard roars, deer calls, and the antelope troops. One cannot see the sky when looking up in woods, nor see the earth when looking down at peak. A smallgroup of bandits hide in such a sea of vast forest; where to search and seek?

い縹鱈づ夏0529

虎啸熊嗷，野猪成群，豹哮鹿鸣，黄羊结对~the wildest  animals do not repose,the boar,and bear,and goat roa`m over the mountain我觉得直译虎熊豹不太好，作者目的是为了说明山环境的险恶～于是用wildest animals~至于后面那些动物,都翻译过来也无妨。更能说明山的生态环境好～