向各位学习, 再来凑凑热闹. Just give it a go for fun...^_^

自娱自乐

月下獨酌
唐?李白
花間一壺酒，獨酌無相親。舉杯邀明月，對影成三人。
月既不解飲，影徒隨我身，暫伴月將影，行樂需及春。
我歌月徘徊，我舞影零亂，醒時同交歡，醉後各分散。
Among the flowers with a pot of wine,
I quaff off alone without kith and kin of mine.
Raising my cup, I invite the noble disc to join me,
with my shadow; we form a party of perfect three.
Alas, the moon seems too aloof to appreciate it all,
Only my shadow attempts to tag me without a fall.
At any rate, I still have my fancy friends around,
To enjoy myself thoroughly as if being spellbound
As I sing, the moon is moving to and fro,
As I dance, closely followed is my shadow,
While Sober, we cheer for each other to binge on,
When Drunk, we part one another and gone.

海外逸士

the first line, better:  a pot of wine among the flowers. simpler.
the fifth line is not what Li Bai said.  so it's not a translation.  your own writing.  A translator must translat what the original was written. a writer can write at will. that is the difference. can't be a translator as well as a writer for the same piece.
in the eighth line the meaning of the last three Chinese characters missing

自娱自乐

原帖由 海外逸士 于 2008-10-14 8:39:00 发表
the first line, better:  a pot of wine among the flowers. simpler.

Thanks for your input.
Well, you need to interpret what you read, right? Who is actually among the flowers? No one but poet himself with a pot of wine in his hands, correct?

自娱自乐

原帖由 海外逸士 于 2008-10-14 8:39:00 发表
the fifth line is not what Li Bai said.  so it's not a translation.  your own writing.  A translator must translat what the original was written. a writer can write at will. that is the difference. can't be a translator as well as a writer for the same piece.

Appreciate your comment, but your tone seems very hostile. hehehe
Well, give it a try again and see if it is okay this time
Alas, the moon seems too aloof to let me appreciate it all
a tad Better?

自娱自乐

原帖由 海外逸士 于 2008-10-14 8:39:00 发表
in the eighth line the meaning of the last three Chinese characters missing

Do you mean 需及春? Well, let me think....
Okay, here comes...
One should enjoy himself in time as if being utterly spellbound
too long

自娱自乐

hehehe, 海外人士, you have a very sharp eye. Good on you!
Now can we talk about your opinion regarding “诗人说百尺就得百尺" in my other thread?
一定要这样吗？
C'mon, I know you are a man.

firefly

好像看过这篇月下独酌的英文版 作者忘了 印象中他翻得不如你好 哈哈
Alas, the moon seems too aloof to appreciate it all,
Only my shadow attempts to tag me without a fall.
At any rate, I still have my fancy friends around,
To enjoy myself thoroughly as if being spellbound
As I dance, closely followed is my shadow,
这几行意译得多了
还有too aloof to appreciate it all, all是什么用法
not at all？可以这样和too to 糅合使用吗
sober 和 drunk  小写

自娱自乐

俗话说得好，诗是越改越好的，再则，众人拾柴火焰高嘛。
revised the first two lines as follows
Among the flowers I hold a pot of wine,
and drink alone without loved ones of mine

海外逸士

我對任何人都希望翻譯就是翻譯﹐寫自己的意思就是寫自己的意思﹐不能混為一談。
可能我話說得直一點﹐但我為什么要對你這樣一位年輕人HOSTILE呢﹖是對事不對人
的。因為我根本不知道閣下是何人。
翻譯的原則是原文怎麼說﹐就把原文的意思忠實地在另一種語言裡表達出來。否則
豈不成了篡改﹖如果別人篡改閣下的詩意﹐閣下以為如何﹖雖然李白死了﹐不能提
出抗議。
我再說句不中聽的話﹕把詩人的原意亂改是不是對詩人的不尊重﹖

自娱自乐

原帖由 海外逸士 于 2008-10-15 6:55:00 发表
我對任何人都希望翻譯就是翻譯﹐寫自己的意思就是寫自己的意思﹐不能混為一談。
可能我話說得直一點﹐但我為什么要對你這樣一位年輕人HOSTILE呢﹖是對事不對人
的。因為我根本不知道閣下是何人。
翻譯的原則是原文怎麼說﹐就把原文的意思忠實地在另一種語言裡表達出來。否則
豈不成了篡改﹖如果別人篡改閣下的詩意﹐閣下以為如何﹖雖然李白死了﹐不能提
出抗議。
我再說句不中聽的話﹕把詩人的原意亂

谢谢你的答复。好的，就这问题我们可以展开讨论，我还不介意我们甚至可以骂娘。请问我篡改了吗？你难道就没有改变一点？
诗人说一百尺，你来个a hundred feet,诗人说三千丈，你来个 ten miles, 请问它们相等吗？有没有需要一定要想等呢？
这是译诗...不是翻译科技文章，my dear friend, though you have a valid point. That is also why people think it is almost impossible to render Chinese poems or poetry into another foreign language.
translatable or not, I like to hear your opinions.