向各位学习, 再来凑凑热闹. Just give it a go for fun...^_^

自娱自乐

原帖由 firefly 于 2008-10-14 22:37:00 发表
好像看过这篇月下独酌的英文版 作者忘了 印象中他翻得不如你好 哈哈
Alas, the moon seems too aloof to appreciate it all,
Only my shadow attempts to tag me without a fall.
At any rate, I still have my fancy friends around,
To enjoy myself thoroughly as if being spellbound
As I dance, closely followed is my shadow,
这几行意译得多了
还有too aloof to appreciate it all, all是什么用法
not at all？可以这样和too to 糅合使用吗
sober 和 drunk  小写  

Anyway, I take your words as a kind of compliment. hehehe
With regard to the issue of "sober and drunk", yes, it is my bad, so thanks for that.
As for "all", I think that "it' should be chopped off so as to make sense. I also thank you for that. hahaha

自娱自乐

原帖由 firefly 于 2008-10-14 22:37:00 发表

As I dance, closely followed is my shadow,

这几行意译得多了
.

yes, i didn't realize it is a problem till now, hahaha

how about "as i dance,  scattering is my shadow."?

自娱自乐

Among the flowers I hold a pot of wine,
Quaff off alone without loved ones of mine.
Raising my cup, I invite the noble disc to join me,
With my shadow, we form a party of perfect three.
Alas, the moon seems too aloof to let me relish all,
Only my shadow is tagging me along without a fall.
For the time being, I have my fancy friends around,
I shall enjoy myself thoroughly in time as if spellbound.
As I sing, the moon is moving to and fro,
As I dance, scattering is my shadow.
While sober, we cheer for each other to binge on,
When drunk, we part one another and gone.

firefly

scatter is better than follow
what about TANGLED?

自娱自乐

影子能和身子tangle? 你tanlge一个我看看？哈哈哈，maybe you can tango...hahaha

firefly

我只是说影子会tangled 没有说和身子tangle

自娱自乐

原帖由 firefly 于 2008-10-15 15:09:00 发表
我只是说影子会tangled 没有说和身子tangle

What can this shadow tangle with?

Anyway, you are not only a poet, but also a translation expert.

Yes, you have the final say.

cheerio

firefly

tangled 可以翻译作凌乱的
你的意思是它必须和某个东西纠缠在一起是吗
如果真要那样理解的话 不妨理解为影子自身的“纠缠”
谢谢你的夸奖 但说实话 晚辈确实受之有愧 :-D

自娱自乐

原帖由 firefly 于 2008-10-16 0:56:00 发表
tangled 可以翻译作凌乱的
你的意思是它必须和某个东西纠缠在一起是吗
如果真要那样理解的话 不妨理解为影子自身的“纠缠”
谢谢你的夸奖 但说实话 晚辈确实受之有愧 :-D

说实话，我原先也想到过用 twisted,和你的那个tangled有相同含义，但不满意，又不想花太多的心思，(hehehe, 那是俺的借口啊，实际是俺慧根太低了)所以放到这儿来，也算是搭个台吧，好让各位诗人和翻译高手展示一下你们的卓越才华，我呢在一旁即可学习，也可找个乐子什么的。:P

可不可以consider "falter, tumble, stumble,shadow dacing in disorder“

To be honest, shadow itself can't be either tangled - tangling or scattered - scattering.

李白大诗人醉了，所以影子也就自然乱了。

我不是说过了么，你是诗人又是翻译家，你的选择肯定没错。

tangled (ad) - 1. twisted together in an untidy way: tangled hair 2. complicated, and not easy to understand: tangled financial affairs

tangle(n) - 1. a twisted mass of thread, hair, etc. that can't be easily separated: a tangle of branches; her hair was a mass of tangles 2. a state of confusion or lack of order: his financial affairs are in a tangle 3. (informal) a disagreement or fight

tangle (v) - tangle sth up = to twist sth into an untidy mass; to become twisted in this way (phr v) tangle with sth or sb - to become involved in an argument or a fight with sb or sth

firefly

thanks for you info
logically you are right
however, art is apt to against logic
in the eyes of Poet Li, how can you ask him to state what he did?
he just described what he sensed in his drunk head
hence, no wonder there was an illusion or some deviations.:Z :Z