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宛城卧龙

原帖由 自娱自乐 于 2009-3-27 10:22:00 发表
不是 ABAB, 是 A b C b

呵呵，我是光注意看尾字母 "d"了

宛城卧龙

我在想一个问题
为了押韵 而颠倒诗歌的次序，这样合适么？
请教。

青衫来客

原帖由 自娱自乐 于 2009-3-27 10:08:00 发表
[quote] 原帖由 青衫来客 于 2009-3-27 9:41:00 发表
有美人兮，见之不忘，一日不见兮，思之如狂
She is deeply rooted in my mind
I met with a lady so fair and bright
It as sure makes me sick and mad
If I would not have her  

ok, one day is something should be missing in translation, or else one would ask what if  half day, less than half day or more than half day.

自娱自乐

。。

青衫来客

I do not mind to look up into the verse translated just now. I am sure it is the universal understanding that the translation is a process of rewriting, therefore the inspiration is required at least when you tend to turn something written in one langguage into the other. As for the order of sentences, it  has a lot to do with the translator 's linguistic prefenrence. abab is my favorite, that is why I put it this way.  I suppose what be discussed here is how to make your translation better for the readers who understand English, not who is right or wrong. Eevry one has his own phylosophy in translation and better to let it stay there，simply because the nice garden contains various kinds of flowers.

青衫来客

引用:
原帖由 青衫来客 于 2009-3-27 9:410 发表
有美人兮，见之不忘，一日不见兮，思之如狂
She is deeply rooted in my mind
I met with a lady so fair and bright
It as sure makes me sick and mad
If I would not have her in my sight  

Fantastic! But should the first line be the second and the second be the first?
呵呵呵，逸士来了的话，他就要说了‘一日’ 没译出来。
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多谢雅鉴，要吃饭去了。下午我们可以继续探讨。

青衫来客

原帖由 卧龙先生 于 2009-3-27 10:30:00 发表
我在想一个问题
为了押韵 而颠倒诗歌的次序，这样合适么？
请教。

卧龙斑竹，我刚来此，还在学习。这是一个形式和内容统一的问题。如果次序的颠倒没有削弱原作的美感和意义，那么颠倒一下又何妨呢。坦率地说，我刚才翻译的时候没有考虑到你提出的问题。在翻译这个再创作的过程中，有很多因素影响翻译的结果，例如修养学识偏好等很多因素。先说结果，在说原因，很符合英美语言习惯和逻辑。下午有时间我们在探讨，我要去吃饭了。午安！

自娱自乐

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自娱自乐

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自娱自乐

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