山寺（青衫来客/自娱自乐）

青衫来客

原帖由 月下吴山 于 2009-5-13 13:21:00 发表
Even the moon over the brook
这个even用的值得商榷！
古诗翻译是最有挑战性的工作，钦佩！

我来客串，童天鉴日兄让我来看看。我最近没有新译作，只好把和自娱自乐兄旧作拿来贴出。

海外逸士

reconsider the translation of the second line and the fourth line.

自娱自乐

Anyhow, I give it a try again for your comments..^_^

The Mountain Temple (A)

Now empty is the temple, and red is the sunglow,
Swallow greets wind while willow sways its cute shadow.
Under the pine I yearn for romantic dream like hell,
Over the brook even the moon comes to listen to the night bell.


The Mountain Temple (B)

No one in sight at the temple, and so red is the sunglow,
Swallow greets wind while willow sways with its cute shadow.
Under the pine I yearn for romantic dream like hell,
With the moon over the brook I listen to the night bell.

自娱自乐

原帖由 情长 于 2009-5-13 10:13:00 发表
好山好溪好梦，好风好月好情！:strong: :rose

情长兄弟，你好像一碗水没有端平，你给青衫君加分，怎么没有给俺加呢？怪不得人人都说‘官官相护’啊，哈哈哈，千万不要当真，玩笑而已，哈哈哈
俺去也！

自娱自乐

青衫君，你是‘醉翁之意不在酒’啊，呵呵呵

自娱自乐

原帖由 海外逸士 于 2009-5-14 3:26:00 发表
reconsider the translation of the second line and the fourth line.

Thanks for your input as always!

自娱自乐

各位看官，恕不奉陪，后会有期。:Z

青衫来客

原帖由 自娱自乐 于 2009-5-14 6:25:00 发表
青衫君，你是‘醉翁之意不在酒’啊，呵呵呵

Haha, I will come to find you for a drink soon and I know for sure where you are now. You bloody guy, do you think that you can run  away from me?

海外逸士

究竟人聽晚鐘﹐還是月聽晚鐘﹖

青衫来客

原帖由 海外逸士 于 2009-5-15 5:52:00 发表
究竟人聽晚鐘﹐還是月聽晚鐘﹖

海外老师，当然是人听晚钟。月本无耳，如何能听？自娱此处所译不确。问候您！