【汉译英】 龙小龙《春江花月夜》译/真真

自娱自乐

原帖由 龙小龙 于 2009-6-16 10:10:00 发表
the small vessel is becoming more and more narrow

？？？

童天鉴日

原帖由 金沙文字 于 2009-6-16 12:47:00 发表
题目是不能这样翻译的.................................

不知道金沙老师如何翻译。我觉得只能把五种情况（春、江、花、月、夜）分别翻译，但是觉得又不好。google翻译：moonlight on the spring river。曾经的曲谱名翻译：Spring River's Flowery Moon-night。

【附录】
春江花月夜
Spring River’s Flowery Moon-Night

春江潮水连海平，海上明月共潮生。
滟滟随波千万里，何处春江无月明。
As Spring River surges to sea-level height,
The moon arises from sea with swelling tides
To glisten on waves for thousands of miles
Till the river is awash with moonlight.

江流宛转绕芳甸，月照花林皆似霰。
空里流霜不觉飞，汀上白沙看不见。
While the river wanders round the fresh strand,
All flowers under moonlight turned snow-white,
Unnoticed in the air is frost in flight,
Invisible in the field is white sand.

江天一色无纤尘，皎皎空中孤月轮。
江畔何人初见月，江月何年初照人。
With the lonely moon in firmament bright
And the river as speckless white as the sky
Who’s first to see the moon on the riverside?
And when did the moon on man first shed light?

人生代代无穷已，江月年年望相似。
不知江月待何人，但见长江送流水。
As endless are the offsprings of mankind,
Years after years the moon looks all alike,
For whom is it on the river standing by
As waters leave the banks far, far behind?

白云一片去悠悠，青枫浦上不胜愁,
谁家今夜扁舟子？何处相思明月楼？
Like a piece of white cloud drifting away
That can’t appease sorrow at Qingfeng bay,
Whose man tonight rowing the boat is he?
Where in moon-lit bower love-sick is she?

可怜楼上月徘徊，应照离人妆镜台
玉户帘中卷不去，捣衣砧上拂还来。
Grieve for the bower haunted with moonlight
That should reflect upon her toilet stand,
That draperies can’t draw up out of sight,
And that can’t be smashed by her laundry band.

此时相望不相闻，愿逐月华流照君。
鸿雁长飞光不度，鱼龙潜跃水成文。
Since we share the same sight rather than sound,
I’d chase the moonshine that flows upon you,
As flying swans are but in moonlight found
And diving fish only leave ripples in view.

昨夜闲潭梦落花，可怜春半不还家。
江水流春去欲尽，江潭落月复西斜。
Last night of petals falling to a lagoon
I dreamed, yet haven’t been home for half a spring,
Oh, spring will flow away with river’s stream,
As west o’er the lagoon now sets the moon.

斜月沉沉藏海雾，揭石潇湘无限路。
不知乘月几人归，落月摇情满江树。
The moon now sunk beneath the misty sea,
Vast from Jieshi to Xiaoxiang it must be,
Has anyone gone home by treading moonlight
That trembles feelingly on a river-tree?
来源：http://wenda.tianya.cn/wenda/thread?tid=0edd835dfa756268&clk=wttpcts

自娱自乐

原帖由 龙小龙 于 2009-6-16 10:10:00 发表
the black hairs and white hairs are still  lying

？？？

金沙文字

“春江花月夜”最好译成一个完整的句子

金沙文字

瞎整........................................

童天鉴日

最怕看google译本啦，头疼

童天鉴日

原帖由 金沙文字 于 2009-6-16 10:41:00 发表
好，勇于探索..............................
新诗的新意象是摆在读者面前的不可回避的新问题............................

If you do not add notes, it is difficult for foreigners to understand,......

确实有点晕，如果没有注释的话。Yue Fu，乐府？

金沙文字

新诗搞成这样，无话可说。原以为金刚经深奥，看来“中国现代诗歌”那才是真正的深奥莫测.......................................................

童天鉴日

原帖由 金沙文字 于 2009-6-16 21:05:00 发表
新诗搞成这样，无话可说。原以为金刚经深奥，看来“中国现代诗歌”那才是真正的深奥莫测.......................................................

我已经给您回复了。这是新诗的一种写法，发散式，意象纷呈。跟文革时期的口号诗（新诗的一种）有天壤之别。所以，翻译起来也很郁闷。您和自娱老师在楼上指出的那些翻译错误（包括简单的、复杂的），的确是需要翻译者再进行仔细斟酌和修改。

海外逸士

太長的東西﹐沒時間看。只就詩題談下意見。
“春江花月夜”已由古人用過﹐不可再用。否則﹐是否算作剽竊﹖