旧作新译 七律 西湖刘庄小住（A Short Stay In Liuzhuang Gardan Hotel）

青衫来客

The beauty and charm of the fairy park still remains attractive
Neighboring the Xihu Lake makes it enchantingly seductive
By pavilion it sees the butterfly lingering on the lotus flower
Boats pass through bridge with bamboo shading the brook over
Distant hills are painted verdant while I feel cool in my sleeve
Swallows ‘re going home as the sunlight’s being red in the eve
I know that the most part of my life has gone with a sad sigh
But I am still envious of the eagle who is flying in clouds high
　　
阆苑风华意未消，
借邻西子愈娇娆。
画亭透叶荷怜蝶，
翠竹遮溪船渡桥。
青染远山凉入袖，
红描夕照燕归巢。
此生已计行程晚，
犹羡云雕上碧霄。

金沙文字

欣赏！:beer: :beer: .........................................................................

自娱自乐

原帖由 青衫来客 于 2009-7-10 9:21:00 发表
The beauty and charm of the fairy park still remains seductive
Neighboring the Xi Hu Lake makes it enchantingly attractive

阆苑风华意未消，
借邻西子愈娇娆。
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呵呵呵，好句子！
how about seductive 和 attractive 换一下位子？
the neighbouring west lake makes it more enchantingly seductive?

自娱自乐

原帖由 青衫来客 于 2009-7-10 9:21:00 发表
By pavilion it sees the butterflies lingering on the lotus flower
[color=#1a

这句句子给人的感觉是许多（特殊认可的）蝴蝶都停留在那朵荷花上, ...哈哈哈，那朵荷花一定是特别香，其它蝴蝶还没资格上呢，否则？:P

自娱自乐

原帖由 青衫来客 于 2009-7-10 9:21:00 发表

I know （that） the most part of my life has been past with sad sigh
此生已计行程晚，

[color=#1a

life has been past with sad sigh ----past = gone
We are familiar with this sentence ----gone with the wind “飘”/ ‘随风飘去’
so, past / gone with sad sigh ----随哀叹而去？:P

青衫来客

这么久没有见到你，跑到哪里潇洒去了？非常感谢你的意见，有时间我详细请教！

自娱自乐

原帖由 青衫来客 于 2009-7-10 16:40:00 发表
这么久没有见到你，跑到哪里潇洒去了？非常感谢你的意见，有时间我详细请教！

噢，只须你东跑西跑，俺就不能活动一下筋骨了？:P

自娱自乐

If 'neighbour' is used as a verb, it is often followed by 'on or upon'

青衫来客

原帖由 自娱自乐 于 2009-7-10 13:59:00 发表
[quote] 原帖由 青衫来客 于 2009-7-10 9:21:00 发表
The beauty and charm of the fairy park still remains seductive
[font=Times New Roman

That will be easily done. It is hard to tell the subtle difference.

青衫来客

原帖由 自娱自乐 于 2009-7-10 14:03:00 发表
[quote] 原帖由 青衫来客 于 2009-7-10 9:21:00 发表
By pavilion it sees the butterflies lingering on the[/co......

Oh, you are correct here. I just need to say 'the butterfly', not the plu. form.